I had just the most random thought today. I was parked in a mall for my facial appointment. I was about 10 minutes early. I saw that the mall had a car wash. I made the executive decision to leave my (damn good) parking space and drove to the car wash for its long overdue cleaning. I walked away from my car, having it in two young men's good hands, and walked to my facial appointment right on time.
I don't know what about it that felt like an immense level of independence. And satisfaction even? I'm able to pay off my facial appointment, pay off my car and have it cleaned and insured timely. I'm able to choose to have a fancy dinner tonight or tomorrow. I'm planning for holidays in the coming months. I can think of all the things I'm going to buy (and I will). All the while, still being able to save some money every month. It might seem all so minor in the grand scheme of things, but I'm doing things on my own accord. Even if it's just a simple thought of sending my (!!!) car to the wash.
I don't know - as I was driving just now, I just had the pressing urge to blog about this. That even though some days I'm equipped with nothing but a lacklustre for life, at least I know I've never lost my sense of independence and ability to be responsible. Am I making sense even? Like I really think my 7 year old self would've been really fond of me now! And that's something to be happy about I think.
xx
