A Hot Minute Later

Wow guys, it has been a damn hot minute!! 

I think I've got a legitimate excuse. I've had my laptop since first year of university and well, it's slowly... expiring. I'm ever grateful for the work it has gotten me through, the movies and shows I've watched to escape said work...

It helped me get a 2:1 for uni and for all resumes that came after. It's given me an avenue to write. And now without it, I sometimes can forget I even have this capacity. I miss writing a lot! I feel like I have so much to update but also nothing at all. I'm so stubborn - I could seriously close this blog and not pay my domain anymore and resort to the close confines of Instagram captions to all of my 30 friends. But I feel so sayang because there have been numerous occasions that I'd use this blog to find old photos or recall memories/locations/dates.

Some updates:

1. My Pak Tok passed away

This was a tough break for the family. He passed last August. The very thought that my last post here was a time that he was still with us and now I'm writing of him in the past tense is rough. 

I think I can genuinely say, with all of my heart, that Pak Tok was my favourite person ever. I mean, of course I love my parents and my siblings. But Pak Tok was so special to me and to all of us. He just emitted so much joy and warmth. He was always SO happy to see us and just exercised his full right as grandfather to make us all feel so loved. Hugged us, kissed us, walked with us, held our hands, and tucked us into bed. Nothing was too expensive (or at least he never made it feel that way), nothing was too much and no distance was too far.

He had a stroke when he was 80, a little before the time Covid happened. Covid quarantines and isolations made the steep climb to recovery that much harder and it affected his mental health. Not being at your best and then being apart and distanced by a pandemic just made it worse. 6 years went by and his health declined every day. From being ok and optimistic about being healthy enough to drive and golf again to one day not recognising us anymore.

In a way, I think we lost him well before August 2025.

It was a Monday. And as Mondays go, I was sat in an internal meeting that morning. We had just gotten back from a quick Penang trip because Uncle Mazri said Pak Tok wasn't doing too well and best that we come see him before it was too late. I was too choked up to be a contributor in the meeting.

Left for a site visit. Was too busy on my phone for updates to be present (which is unlike me, I hate whipping my phone out in front of someone else especially in a professional setting). Once I got the news, I did an Irish exit and rushed home to leave for Penang. The whole car ride I was just crying. I love Penang so much, it formed such an integral part of my childhood and this had to be the most depressing reason for going back. 

The funeral went well alhamdulillah. It was unsurprising that he had a lot of people come see him for the last time for he was soooo loved. 

We're close to 11 months of not having him with us anymore. I've dreamt of him twice. Celebrated a Raya without him. His birthday in March fell on the third day of Raya and it was a day that family came over to celebrate. I just know he would have loved everything about it. 

Sayang Pak Tok, you're always in my prayers. Miss you everyday.

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2. Junk Journaling 

So a big part of my resolutions this year was to go analogue. 

That included journaling. So I got a Hobonichi (Weeks) and it's my favourite thing I've gotten this year. I have it with me ALL THE TIME. It goes wherever I go. I have all my to-do's in there and I have a monthly calendar view that allows me to see my plans for the month. And honestly guys, if you feel you have an issue with your productivity levels, I'd so recommend writing down a list (physically and not on your notes app) because nothing beats crossing them out one by one!! 

But that's just normal journaling.

We're talking about junk journaling. If it's not already apparent, the only way I know how to love is to go all the way. So I've got a rather decent collection of washi tapes, sticker books, magazines. I collect napkins and cute collaterals along the way. Unfortunately as a Malaysian (but also fortunately), we're not that big on packaging here. So it's been hard to find things to collect. The said napkin was from my favourite cafe in Jakarta (Scarlet's House, 10/10). 

Here are some of my spreads!! I love them all.

This last pic is what I call a journal jam. We had a birthday lunch for Anisa at my place and then we took out all our materials and maybe spent 3-4 hours of junk journaling. It was SO therapeutic, we had snacks in between and music throughout. I highly, highly recommend trying it out!! It's great fun. 

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3. Tania got married! 

Wow sorry I should've reordered this because how did junk journal come before my sister getting married????? 

Tania got hitched last October and it's been pretty fun since. I LOVE weddings and I LOVE being participant in wedding planning. I'm close to being Katherine Heigl in 27 dresses but I genuinely do enjoy it. It brings me so much joy! And for it to be my sister who I loveeee like she's an extended version of myself.

The nikah and subsequent reception was held in Villa Rimba Flora in Sg Buloh. Such a pretty place and it was near-ish to our place so that made transporting things pretty convenient. The morning of was HECTIC lemme just tell you that. But we ended the day being absolutely exhausted - we had entertained 950+ people and it was non-stop. I loved it though. All my parents' friends that I grew up knowing and aunties and uncles from both sides of the families. And alhamdulillah it didn't rain so it was perfect. We took 3 working days to fully heal and rest hahaha. I know it totally knocked my parents out but they're absolute social butterflies so they were v much happy to do it. Whoever gets married next however.... hopefully would NOT have that many people dah. 

I've been asked if I'm sad that Tania got married. But I'm not! How can I be sad that someone I love so much be that happy? It doesn't compute. Has it changed things? I mean, yeah of course. Her moving out means 1 less person in the house. But it means the reunion is sweeter everytime. She's been such a gracious host and we've been over to her place for random makan makan and to just hang all the time. I love the girl and I'm so grateful for Aufa for being so kind to her and to our family.

(Ooh! Just to add that for privacy purposes, I won't post photos of my family/friends on here anymore and unfortunately that meant 99% of the wedding pictures! Sorry.)

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4. I turned 33.

Ok maybe not that big of an update but I'm 33! 

In a hadith, it is said that the people of Paradise will be young, strong and in perfect health... and that they will all be 33. Of all the ages to be frozen for eternity, it's 33!! That's a big, big deal.

In a way, it's made me more conscious of how I put myself forth into the world. Be it my appearance or behaviour or the energy I go with everyday. Just to put my best step forward as much as I can. Or at least try, yknow? 

But hmm. How do I put this? I guess this is a bit contradictory to my previous point but I think being in my 30s has allowed me to distance myself from the idea of perfection. Like it doesn't really matter that much to me anymore. So while I try and try to be the best version of myself, I won't stop myself from having easy days. I care less about what people think of me. At the end of the day, I don't - and I hope I never will - seek the approval of people that don't actually matter to me. 

I'm taking better care of my body and what I eat. I'm taking steps to be better at my financial health. I'm making big girl decisions everyday. It's very peaceful and I'm really proud of myself for getting here. 

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5. I have a new niece!!

Aww this is a cute one. She was born late last year and she's been a cutie girl!! I love being an aunty so so much and it's been such a joy seeing them grow up bit by bit. I want them little forever! 

I was trying to figure out what they should call me and decided ultimately on Tiya like Aunty Nadia. Then I found out that Tia also means aunty in Spanish! So it's quite cute and fitting like that.

I adore being an aunt so much and I foresee myself spoiling them a lot growing up! Because what do you mean I'm going to walk past a Toy Story tshirt and a summery dress without buying for them?? 

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So of course a lot of life has happened since my last post. Some mentioned and a lot more not said. 

There's an innate quality in being private. In a world where everything is publicised, criticised and speculated, there's something very comforting in knowing that some things are just mine. 

And I think that's very 33 of me.

xx