Friday, October 28, 2016

Friday Funday


I just got back from dinner with my family at Dancing Fish in BSC. If you've not been, you have to. It serves Indonesian food and it's by far one of my favourite restaurants. Everything is so good! It's rice and lauk lah basically but really flavourful and with every dish, they have a dip of their own and it's made of different types of sambal belacan. I don't know lah ok I just love it!!! Go try!!!! Then thank me later. And then maybe treat me out also.


I have a greater appreciation for the weekend now and I've probably already mentioned that before. I was lucky enough to be someone who enjoyed school tremendously so although the weekend was great for sleeping in, I didn't mind Mondays because I'd be reunited with friends and let's be honest, school wasn't that hard. Neither was college. Ok no, KY was difficult but I didn't mind it because college was SO much fun, literally was a good day EVERYDAY for me there. So weekends were just... fine.



... now I love the weekends. Not that I hate work but it's a completely different ball game and I get it why adults used to tell me "Enjoy school, work is so different and so not fun!" when I was younger. School was fun and I'm really happy I found it fun because I know a lot of people who hated high school and I can't help but feel so kesian because I think everyone deserves great school years that they would want to go back again and again. 

I, also btw, wake up as early as 7:30 these days, weekends or not! Which is new because I used to power through the night completely fuelled by my enthusiasm for Korean dramas and variety shows. Now I'm so lembik when I get home at 7 and completely out of it by midnight. And I'm up even before my alarm. You learn something new about yourself all the time and my ability to wake up early and stick to a healthy sleep routine is, well... my something new.

Work has been going well. I'm slowly starting to get involved in meetings and putting forth my opinions to Nelissa and her team. It's really a new experience altogether because for the first time ever I'm doing things other than studying! I'm actually contributing to operations and marketing and sales and this and that. It's a pretty small team so I'm lucky in the sense that I get to learn a lot first hand. And Nelissa is a pretty chilled out boss so it's not like I'm working in a stuffy environment. I mean, I get to wear jeans to work. Yas!

But the more I work at NH, the more I kinda want to start up my own business. It's stressful and there's a lot of really boring technical stuff you have to do before getting to the fun bit but I just love the idea of being an entrepreneur. I think it's because it has to do a lot of economics and knowing how the market works and studying customer behaviour and even to a certain point, understanding basic psychology. I won't know how to expand on that last one but it really does! It's a lot to do with thinking what's something else that's new and exciting that I can do and constant brainstorming "How do I get better than the next person?". It's competition and being innovative and I love that! I told my dad over dinner once that one of my small goal dreams is to chair a meeting because a) it sounds cool b) it'll probably signify I've become someone to be able to pull that off. Hopefully not too far in the future you'll see a blog post bearing the title, "CHAIRED MY OWN MEETING!" with exciting emojis. 

But you gotta start somewhere and this is my somewhere, I guess. 

Have a bloody great weekend! I'm working tomorrow at the pop-up store boohoo no relaxing, couch-potato-ing Saturday for me but atleast more pay hehe


P/S : Also a hearty thank you to everyone who wished me well after Hafiz's passing. Was so sweet and so lovely to see so many people check up on me. I don't think I deserved it but it was nice anyway to know I got some great buddies with me. 

Saturday, October 15, 2016

Hafiz Ismail

I lost a friend today.

When Hafiz told me of his cancer, I couldn't believe it. I really couldn't. His doctors told him then that he had 6 months. And 6 months passed, and he was fine. So although I shouldn't, I thought little of the cancer and knowing how Hafiz always beats the odds, I didn't think he'd give in to cancer. Knowing him, he had no plans to lose out on this battle. A battle too cruel for anyone to go through.

So when I visited him 2 weeks back at the hospital, I wasn't as nervous as I thought I'd be. I think it was because I've never seen him in the hospital. And I didn't really properly acknowledge the fact that he had cancer. I didn't know how to acknowledge it. I couldn't process it. But when I saw him on the hospital bed, sitting up right, attached with an oxygen mask and body so thin and frail, only did it start registering. My heart dropped. I didn't know what to do and I didn't know what to say. I went with some of his very very close guy friends so when I saw Hafeez (a different one, Hafeez and Hafiz are best of friends since primary school) stroke his hair and joked with him, I couldn't hold back my tears. How is this boy who used to teach me add math, who used to sit behind me in class and pull our hair (Ila and I were deskmates and Hafeez and Hafiz were deskmates and we used to sit infront of them for 3 years running, we then resorted to calling ourselves the G.I Johns), who used to fetch me all the time from my house without complaining, here on this hospital bed, fighting for his life??  It was difficult for me to come to terms that Hafiz had cancer because it was out of reach for me to understand. So when I saw him in the hospital with the oxygen mask did it all come at me. All at once. And I was incredibly overwhelmed. 

When I saw him at the hospital, I didn't know what to say and what to do. He was joking around with Hafeez and when it came to my turn to say hi, I just fell silent. And so did he. I took him by his hand and I held it tight. I wanted to say, "You'll be ok" but I just couldn't. It wouldn't come out. My eyes started to fill with tears and my words got stuck in my throat, refusing to come out. I must've mustered a weak, "...ok" because he smiled and just nodded as if he understood what I wanted to say. I hope he did. That was the last time I saw him. 

When I got the text that he had passed today, my whole mind just went numb and blank. I was at a studio for a photoshoot and I couldn't leave. My friends were discussing the agenda for the day on Whatsapp and it was still uncertain if he was to be buried tonight or tomorrow morning. I was numb. I didn't really talk much and I didn't really do anything. Only when I told my colleague that I had to leave work early and that it was because of Hafiz, my voice broke and my eyes started to get watery. It was as if my heart and mind was finally synchronising with the rest of my body. It hadn't sunk it yet before that. Having to say it out loud made it real. 

I rushed home and then rushed again for the mosque where they'd have sembahyang jenazah. We were informed that he was about to be wrapped and that it was our last time to see him. I saw him from afar before stopping in my tracks. I couldn't. I couldn't see him like that. I couldn't see my friend because it was too surreal. Seeing him in that state was too difficult for me to do. I couldn't stop crying when I was praying Isyak. Because I couldn't believe where I was. I was at a mosque, about to sembahyang jenazah for a friend. A friend whom I've known since we were 15. A friend who then turned to something more. We've shared great, great memories together. Lunch dates at our favourite New York Deli - we used to go there so many times that the waiters knew us from afar. Study sessions at MPH out of all places because it was quiet enough and they had a small cafe where we had drinks while attempting to study add math together. Times we'd argue about the tiniest thing like Coke vs Pepsi and discuss to great lengths who we'd date if not one another. Used to always make me laugh. I remember being really proud and happy that I was dating him because everyone around us loved him to bits. He was the life of any party and it's pretty much agreed that he was everyone's favourite guy. And still very much is. In fact, when I was at the burial site, I saw some of our friends there and to see them so sad really broke me. We're talking about friends who he grew up with, spent all his school years with, sat with during break, went for tuition classes with, hung out with just weeks ago, travelled with. I knew Hafiz when we were 15, and these are his good friends who have been friends with him since they were 7. 15 years of friendship with someone and to see them leave you brings about a sadness and grief that is entirely unparalleled.

I'm so saddened that he is no longer here with us and I really don't know what to do nor say. I'm incredibly grateful to have known such a guy in my life. I wanted to thank him for being such a great fighter, for being such a trooper. Doctors initially told him 6 months when he was first diagnosed but he marched on for another 5 years. And I also wanted to thank him for giving me a big portion of his heart. For liking me and for sticking through with me. I'm also incredibly regretful of the things I didn't get to say and things I didn't get to do. Like to apologise for being really crappy in the last few years. For being really distant. I'm really sorry for all the things I did and the things I didn't. You deserved a great, great love of a lifetime and I'm sorry I couldn't be that for you. I want to say a million more things and I should've a long time ago and I'm so sorry for that. I hope through my prayers you'll hear me and you'll hear how sincere and genuine my apologies and gratitude to you are. 

The sadness everyone is going through now is only a tiny bit trumped by relief because at least now you're in a much better place and that you're not suffering. You're free from pain Alhamdulillah and for that, I'm glad. I'll always have you in my prayers. May He grant you Jannah and may He also provide your family comfort and patience to go through this very difficult time in their lives. You are such a blessing to all of us, Hafiz and I hope you left us at least knowing that. 

It was an honour to have you in my life, Hafiz Ismail. 

We'll see each other again but 'til then, rest well. We all miss you already.

31st May 1993 - 14th October 2016


Sunday, October 9, 2016

Final Vlog!

Weekends are something I cherish more and more as I work. It's something I feverishly look forward to. 

To what, you might ask?

To do nothing. To just laze in bed and not care for an alarm. And to catch up with my variety shows. I try to be good with my TV shows but sometimes I'm just too sleepy and I'd rather much not regret staying up so late when I wake up. So I sleep. Guys, I'm tellin' ya, I'm a different person now!!

The past week, my dad was in Italy and the UK (he had an expo in Milan and went to visit my sister in the UK) so while he was gone, I slept over in my parents room with my mum. To keep her company and to also sleep on their bed. Is it just me or does everyone find their parents' bed very, almost weirdly ridiculously comfortable??? My dad has a bolster and so I've been using his while I slept over and it's my new obsession so I had to get my own. So now, I'm back in my room with new bedsheets (dainty yellow striped ones... cute) and 2 new bolsters! I only have a single bed but it's currently bombarded with pillows. Just the way I love it.

Iman and I watched Miss Peregrine's Home for Peculiar Children yesterday as per her request. It was... okay. I preferred Lemony Snickets waaaaaay more. This movie was not as child friendly as I had initially thought. It was very creepy, actually! Meh. I didn't enjoy it as much but it's been ages since I last went to watch a movie at the cinemas so it was fine! Next movie I wanna catch is The Girl on The Train. I love Emily Blunt so I'm going to watch it 'cause of her. I've heard how famous the book was so I'm looking forward. 

Hmm... what else?

Oh! I placed an order with Colourpop about 3 weeks ago because they had this free international delivery promotion going on and I took advantage of it. I have always wanted to buy from Colourpop but never got around to doing it (mainly cause it was so expensive to buy CHEAP eyeshadows. Delivery charges are such a nuisance). So when they announced that they were delivering for free, I immediately went online and bought a bunch of eyeshadows. 

9, to be specific. And 1 highlighter. I didn't get any of their lipsticks because I don't like matte finishes and I'm perfectly fine with all the lip tints I bought from Korea. 

I haven't had the opportunity to go anywhere fancy to use these shadows but hopefully soon. Someone bring me out for a nice dinner, please! I channelled my inner beauty vlogger hidden deep, deep somewhere inside and Snapchatted a mini haul video. 

First impressions on these shadows were that they apply like a ~ d r e a m ~ they are incredibly soft to the touch and didn't feel powdery in the tiniest bit! They're almost cushiony in the pan. They swatch true to colour and so sickeningly pigmented. I'm struggling to find why anyone would wanna buy anything else? It's beautiful and they have so many colours and tones to choose from (I took 45 minutes to decide between 2 almost identical colours). Cheap and beautiful pay off, why would you buy anywhere else?????

From L-R (or bottom to up) : Brady, Crenshaw (from the Kaepop collection), Tang, Seeker, Nillionaire, Partridge, Cricket, Wattles, Hammered

Highlighter in 'Butterfly Beach'

Also, I have the final vlog up and ready on Youtube! It's our last one and so it's bittersweet. It's been fun editing these and I actually really advocate travel vlogging. It reminds me a lot of my childhood when my dad would lug around his huge video camera around and film us on holidays. You get to relive the whole holiday also and I've loved it all. Tania loves editing these videos out too but she wasn't able to do the later ones because she's all the way in the UK. Even Iman enjoys making videos, she's done some and she's learning whenever she can about video making. She even aspires to be a film director one day. Hmmmm don't know how my parents would feel about that...

Our last day in Seoul was mostly running around to places we hadn't gone yet. Nowhere new. We discovered this beautiful shop in Hongdae called Daily Monday. The exterior and interior of the store was so ON POINT, it had pink deck chairs and tables at the front of the store with a lot of greenery. The interior was just really well thought out and was a lot different from the smaller shops in the main Hongdae area. This was more fancy shmancy and the clothes were definitely to my liking. We were rushing so we didn't get anything which I heavily regretted. Wished we had spent more time in there and wished we had discovered it earlier! 

We went to have dinner at SMT and Tania asked our very sweet host to make a reservation for us. We're unsure if it's completely necessary to make a reservation beforehand but it's best that you do. It's also, by the way, nowhere near the SUM market. It's on the same street as JYP Entertainment. At the junction (where you're facing JYP and Dunkin Donuts is on your left), turn right and walk straight on til you see SMT on your right. You won't miss it.

We met up with Jiha, a friend/college junior of mine, who is currently doing a year abroad in Seoul and she brought us out for lunch in Hongdae at this rather obscure shop. She even treated us which was incredibly sweet and kind of her!!!! Food was really good and I highly recommend webfoot octopus to anyone. It's not as icky as it sounds, promise.

Sigh, I can go on and on about Seoul. Such a cool place and I really really really won't mind going again and again. I won't get bored, there's so many things to do, to see, to shop. And it's also relatively very cheap. Once you have your Airbnb and flights settled, you're pretty much set. Food isn't expensive and shopping isn't too pricey either. You just have to be smart on where to shop. I've been thinking about going to Japan but people have been scaring me saying how expensive it is! I really don't like going to a new place and being limited by money. Sounds very snobbish, I know and I apologise but holidays are meant to be carefree and enjoyable so to be constantly wary about money is so tiring and difficult. I definitely know that it's very possible to be on a tight budget when traveling, as how I'd assume backpackers travel around, but just as there are many types of eaters, there are also many types of travellers. So maybe Japan later on when I've made some money on my own. But Korea... Korea, you definitely can go even on a small budget. Definitely.

Ok so I want to resume my evening nap and prepare my heart and soul for the next working week. Hahaha I make my work sound so challenging when it really isn't. 

I still have yet to post photos of my trip but I promise I will!

Here's the final episode of our Seoul trip vlog! To many more in the future. 

Tuesday, October 4, 2016

5th Vlog

I'm currently at home after the weekend away at a hotel in KL. Mum decided to book a hotel room for the three of us (Iman, Mum and I) as a treat. I highly recommend staycations. You don't really have to travel and you get to stay in a hotel room. It was supposed to be just for a night but after much persuading, we extended it to 2 nights. 

Didn't really do much other than to KLCC and Pavilion but it was just really nice. Something about hotels that I love. Is it the bedding? Is it the carpeted floors? Is it the really luxurious bathroom? I looked forward to staying in a hotel this whole week!!! I miss it already. Would it be excessive to do staycations once a month??? 

Cheated this week and combined 2 days in 1 vlog because our 5th day was really short, we came home pretty early in the day because of how cloudy it was. Next time I travel I'm definitely going to have one whole day dedicated to staying home! 

I think the reason I've not been blogging is because I have nothing to talk about really. I'll write more once I get a bit used to working. I'm also not used to having a routine again to which I have to strictly adhere to. I wake up at 7 these days - working day or not! Which is massive for me. I never knew what morning was...

Hope you enjoy this vlog and I also hope I upload on time next week! I tried so hard to finish editing by Sunday latest but I loved staying in a hotel too much to constantly be on my laptop! I didn't even get to catch up with my Korean variety shows. And that says a lot.