A Carnival

Well hello !

I've decided that I shall make a post on my March Favourites. I got this idea from the beauty guru's on Youtube and it's been going on since forever so I decided to do a blogpost on it.

(You can't blame me for being horribly bored, I have not yet obtained my driving permit nor do I have college yet NOR do I work, so I'm home alone...... or at Starbucks reading my books)

March Favourites

i. Mitch Albom's 'The Five People You Meet In Heaven'. I always was contemplating whether I should get this book. It's quite pricey for a book so thin and small. But I was out with my Mum and we stopped at Borders because we were bored so I got it. It is SUCH a good read. I was bored and had nothing to do at like 1 in the morning and so I decided to read it and I couldn't stop reading it and was up til 4 am. I was 3/4 in and I had to put it down because I didn't want to be bored the next day. Are you understanding all this or are you just reading and going 'What the- ?'

ii. Vaseline hand lotion. I have come to realise how I cannot live without this. I don't leave the house without it and that's the truf !

iii. Jessie J. She's mad talented. Makes me think that there's something in the water in London that's making them sound so melodic. Favourite song of hers is Who You Are. So brill !

iv. Perfumes. OBSESI. I've been smelling so many pretty scents nowadays. Thinking of getting a new perfume. I just had a whiff of the new Marc by Marc Jacobs perfume, the Eau So Fresh Daisy one. Soooooooooooo floraly and sunshine-y and makes me all girl-running-in-a-meadow-wearing-a-white-sundress happy. In other words, lovely.

v. Pretty Little Liars. I've watched all now and it's beyond good.

vi. Bright things. Zara wins with the most colour in their spring summer collection. I love it !!! I still love my dark and depressing colours but these new bright colours are so pretty to look at. I mean, seriously, pink pants ?!?!?!?!?! Rad.

7 (lol cause I forgot what 7 is in Roman). The colour turqoise. I'm obsessed.

K that's essentially it. Gonna resume watching Bones because it's (one of the) the best shows evaaaaah bye

Ma,

I realised how little pictures we have together. I have this photo framed and is on my study table :)

My Mama turned 43 this year !!! I'm blogging about this a day late (well not really because it's only 1:30 on the 26th March) but oh well, better late than never.

Like everyone, I love my mother. She's such a lovely person, I mean, seriously so nice and warm, you can't help but be very comfortable in her presence. She's my ultimate best friend. I can tell her anything and everything without having to feel awkward. Well, duh. People say how it's weird to have your mother in school. Honestly, I love it ! Also because she and her students get along well.

My mum is one of the few people I'd do anything for. I've told her numerous times that when I work and when I get enough money, I'll get her anything her heart desires and if that means anything from a brand new car or a diamond ring, then by all means, she will get it !

Everytime I pray, I pray for my parents good health and moga murah rezeki. I always doa for my siblings to have a good future as well as for me. This is all because I want my mum to have a good life in the future. I want her to enjoy her retirement with her kids being all well and brilliant. I owe everything to my mum who has done a lot (and I mean a LOT) for us and all that, tirelessly and willingly.

Biggest compliment for me was when Puan Nurhana noted how similar I was with my mum when I brought Rocky to Physics tuition and she said 'Macam mak dia, always bringing something for everyone'. And to know that I had some traits of my mum in me (without even me knowing), I'm a happy girl.

I'd tell you my mum is a generous, warm, loving, caring person and all that but I'd have to break out the dictionary (and thesaurus) for every nice adjective in there and it'll take me absolutely forever. Truly, sit down and have lunch with my mum and you'll love her. Imagine what 18 years does to you.

Such a sweet and lovely person my mother is and she, without a single doubt, deserves everything good in the world. I pray everyday that God blesses her and may she have the best life ahead and more birthdays to celebrate.

My father couldn't be any luckier and I'm telling you right now that my siblings and I are so blessed to have a mother like mine.

Dear Mama (if you're reading which I think you probably are),

Though we rarely exchange I Love You's and hugs and kisses, you should know that there is no second that goes by that I don't love you whole heartedly. And that the first thing I doa is your well being (as well as Papa's) and for a long life and for ALL of us to do well in our education so that we can make you proud.

Thank you, Mama for everything you have done for not just me but everyone in this family. I'm beyond grateful to God for blessing us with a mother like you.

Lots of love and hugs and kisses,

Nadia x

23rd March 2011

I'm so upset. Words can't describe. I can't help but feel so disappointed with myself. Also because I feel like I've disappointed my parents and my grandparents. I mean, I know I've done my ultimate best but it bothers me so much to know that what I call my 'best' is not good enough. I'm so heartbroken everytime I think about it. Like, literally. Tears well up everytime I think about not getting my straight A's. I was seriously hoping I'd do good so I can get some sort of scholarship to help me get into a good college. Parents have made it clear that they won't be paying for a private college. I'm so sad right now I think because I've always wanted to be in KYUEM. And it sucks to know chances are low. I feel like I still need to cry it out. Even if it takes a couple of days. I don't feel like seeing anyone though.

God has plans for all of us. Everything happens for a reason. Let me tell you right now that in the future, when I've settled in college/university, I'm going to look back on my SPM days and study 10 times more and push myself more. This is my own personal promise.

So;

I'm going to cry it all out. Even if it means not seeing anyone for a while. Even if it means my eyes will be too swollen for the next few days. I need to get it out for my system for me to be okay.

I'm also going to do well in the future because God damn it, I deserve it !

P/S : I can't tell you how much I'm so proud of my girls (and boys) on their excellent results. Dina, I'm so happy for you tau tak because you're such a sweetheart and you deserve all the good things in the world ! Thank you for helping me with my studies (even if it took a lot of patience), may God bless you now and always ! And my lovely table mate of 3 years, Ila. Seriously, in my eyes, you did just as well as them who got straight A's. I'm not even kidding you. You worked SO hard it only makes perfect sense that you got what you got. SO SO SO deserving. Wishing you both such a bright future and for every good things to happen to both of you. Makes me so proud to call you both my good friends :")

Also to my other friends. You know what, it doesn't matter. 2A's or 10A's. God has a plan for all of us, none forgotten. We may not see it now but it's there. Let's be better. It's not the end of the world. If anything, it's a good thing. Because then, we'll be looking back on this day and remember what we got and we'll work harder. Push ourselves more and be the ultimate best we can be. There's nothing stopping us damn it !

I Do

Next to fashion, I love make-up. And mermaids and the colour pink.

But that's besides the point. SUPER stoked that Malaysia will have its very own Sephora (Lim Jia Wen, get excited with me!!) ! Said to be opening end of April, early May sorta thing. And I've seen some photos and there'll be Urban Decay and holy shmoly of cosmetics, Soap and Glory !!!!!!!!! I'm crossing my fingers for Nars to come in !!

Results coming next Wednesday. I feel sick in my stomach haahahaha. I've had dreams regarding my results. And by far, it is the MOST recurring (don't know if that's even grammatically correct) dream. Geez Louise. No high hopes but I'm crossing my fingers so hard that it'll break that I get more than 5 ? I don't know. I'll be all sorts of devastated if it's below 5. LOL to make matters worst, result day falls on my grandfathers birthday. Um..

I keep recalling my SPM days and trying to think how I did (I even resorted reading my old blog posts and my SPM review to partially calm myself). How do I tell my folks that SPM isn't the end of the world ? I mean, they are a LOT of people who didn't do well and they're just fine in university/college. Heck, some are doing (very) well. Maybe I should do a presentation with pie charts and all.......

I don't want to disappoint anyone. Particularly myself. Because I've studied and I did my best. But I'm so scared OMGHHKP. I wonder what college/uni I'll go to after that.... Hopefully a good one -_-

x

Najihah xox

I had nothing to do so I made a .gif of Najihah and I. LOL.

Xs and Os

What. Up.

Rate of Productivity for this week = 0

I've coloured my hair though. Had some highlights in. Picked 2 colours - purple and brown. Know that both colours were in a dark shade and you can hardly see the purple. I still like it though.

Hung out with my friends (amazing what a blog post can do hahahaha). Watched Beastly and I Am Number Four. I don't remember if I've mentioned that before though.. excuse me if I did. I seriously want to watch The Adjustment Bureau. EMILY BLUNT FTW.

Speaking of Emily Blunt, Michael Buble's concert just ended. And I'm not there. What even ? Parents got last minute tickets so they went instead. I'm kinda disappointed because I've said (many many times) that I'd SO SO SO go to his concert if given the chance. Sad. I guess I'll see him some other time (LOL mcm kenal). But seriously........ SO SAD I COULDN'T GO. I freaking love him.... :(

I'm still a concert virgin so don't laugh TOO hard. It's not my scene. But damn son, I WANTED TO GO TO BUBLE'S CONCERT.

K this was yet another useless and pointless post. I just wanted to post up a photo of Rosie Huntington-Whiteley doing her silly face and still managed to look seriously stunning. I do it and I'm just like 'You know what, don't even'.

Ignored.

I feel forgotten. By all my friends, really. No one really bothers with anything anymore. Everyone is busy with everything. Some, I haven't spoken to since school ended. Some, I've grown distant with.

Even with my sisters. I ask Tania if she wants to go out MULTIPLE times and the first thing she'll say is No. And she comes up with excuses. It gets frustrating because it's like I'm the only one making an effort.

No one bothers calling me up anymore. Aidit called me the other day and I was quite excited because I haven't heard nor seen the boys in the longest time and all he could ask was 'Eh, can you text me Hafiz's number?'.

It's like my friends are slowly depleting. Til one day, they're all just gone.

I miss my friends. But it's as if none of them misses me.

Here come the ladies,

Bored out of my mind. But hey, what else is new ?

I literally just stayed in bed the whole day. Reason being I woke up with this huge headache and nausea that couldn't be ignored. And it certainly wasn't the kind that would disappear after I eat or something. I know this would be too much information but in the end, I did get sick. Real sick. Disgusting. I haven't been sick in the longest time. I'm quite fortunate in the sense that I hardly get sick. I daresay, I might get sick like, once a year ? Which is pretty healthy for someone who doesn't practice exercises or eat good healthy food.

ANYWAY. So yes, that's what I did today.

Though my weekend was pretty good. Spent both days with my friends because we were helping out with Hafeez's sisters wedding. Which was pretty fun because we were all there. Most of us, I mean. Saturday, we were at Shah Alam. And on Sunday, we were in KL at the Dewan Merak Kayangan.

I have so many movies to watch now ! Like, Beastly, The Fighter, Adjustment Bureau and No Strings Attached. Maybe I shall watch them tomorrow. Atleast one of them lah.

I seriously want to colour my hair. A streak of lilac or light pink. I haven't had the chance to and I get the feeling no one would be able to do it.... Keaton from Organic won't colour my hair pun !!! Saying it'll damage it more :( Sad.

How I Do Not Care For My Exam Results

It's as if I can't do what I want.

It's as if my dreams are actually laughable to some people. Some people I care the most

It's as if it doesn't matter what I want to do.

My dad has clearly told me that he won't be paying for college and that I should be depending on scholarships. Memang senang is it to get scholarships ? Last time I checked, they were only given to offsprings to the likes of Newton and Einstein.

Can everyone just stop being so hopeful and ambitious about my SPM results ? I mean, seriously lah, let's get realistic. Memang harapan lah nak dapat 9A++++ kan !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Then stop hoping for that scholarship to come knocking on the door can ? Ugh. Annoys me to no apparent end when people bring up SPM results. I don't give a damn when it's coming. It can come whenever it wants. I don't really want to know jugak. Those who want to know and are anxious to find out how they did probably already know by now that they're getting straight A's.

It's like, what if I don't do well ? What happens then ? Am I not going to college at all ? Is that how it works ? Since, y'know, I'm not getting scholarships and all. I'm not trying to be the sucky pessimist but COME ON, PEOPLE. Can you stop it with your 'So what are you going to do with your 10 As nanti ?'. It just saddens me because I feel like I won't be able to reach your expectations.

So, please. Stop it. Stop with the high expectations. Stop with the 'I won't be paying your college fees'. Stop with the 'What do you want to do?' and then when I say what I want to do, people look at me differently and suggest something else.

LAST TIME I CHECKED, THIS LIFE IS MINE !

It's getting under my skin. I'm so envious with people who HAVE started college already. It's like SPM results don't really matter anymore because they're in a good school already. In my case, I'm depending on my results and well, we'll see how that goes lah kan ?

Kerja kat Topshop lah seumur hidup like this.......