Tuesday, December 19, 2017

Jonghyun x

So yesterday evening I was on my secondary Twitter account (dedicated to all things Korean because I kinda didn't want to have my current feed bombarded with like, 300 K-pop accounts) when I came across a tweet that said the lead singer of popular K-Pop group, SHINee was found unconscious in an apartment in Seoul. His name was Jong Hyun. 

Now, I love SHINee. Maybe not as much as a proper fan but I mean, I do love them. I still follow them rather regularly and I keep track of their new releases and whatnot. And Tania and I even managed to see them at the SMTown building. That was pretty surreal because it was my first time seeing them up close.

Yesterday, he was found unconscious and was rushed to the hospital and after what seemed to be the longest time, he was pronounced dead. There were news going around that he was responding well to a treatment by the doctors but ultimately he succumbed to his death. He died from carbon monoxide poisoning and it was an apparent case of suicide. And then this wave of uncontrollable sadness just overwhelmed me and I cried. I cried because he must've had so much to deal with on his own, and it must've been so difficult for him to wake up every morning. I know a lot of Asians seem to dismiss mental illness. Apparently very true in his case in his long suicide note where he said his doctors weren't helpful and instead, had rubbished his depression and denounced his own depression on his own personality. I don't know how depression would feel but it must've been so dark for him. Breaks my heart to know that he performs his all for his fans for 9 years only to come back from that feeling so alone and dark. 

Before performing for his last concert, he handed his suicide note to a friend who then alerted the family. The family knew about it and was keeping a close eye on him and comforted him just to make sure he was doing fine. You can read the suicide note (in which Jong Hyun himself told the friend to make public whenever he would leave) here (Part 1) and here (Part 2) . It's a long one and I'm still trying to make sense of it but it's heartbreaking. I can't imagine the ones close to him. His mum, sister, friends. Especially the rest of his group members who has spent the later part of their lives together. All 4 members were assigned to be Chief Mourners at his memorial which basically means they were in charge of greeting all the ones who came to pay their respects. It's usually a role assigned to a family member so this speaks volume of how they were as a group. 

Mental illness should be discussed more freely and more often. Especially amongst Asians. We seem to not understand the magnitude of it. It's as if it's something we can get over pretty easily. For me, even throwing around the word 'depressed' feels wrong. I've stopped saying it a long time ago because it's such a dangerous adjective to be bouncing off conversations. It belittles the illness. 

Just be nice to everyone. Be understanding of everyone and be kind. Always choose to be kind. Everyone faces their own battles, unknown to most. Don't belittle depression, accept and acknowledge it as it is - an illness. Actually, just don't belittle any type of mental illness. Who are we to decide how someone feels.

Wake up everyday and feel grateful that you're not engulfed in darkness and that you don't have demons in your head but be mindful and accommodating to those who do.

We're all that we have. We share this space on earth with so many people. We need to respect and be kind to one another. Don't dismiss it as something that they'll get over easily. Don't dictate how others should feel. I hope this sheds light on the mental illness and suicide rate in Korea and everywhere else. Following this unfortunate incident, I'm trying to educate myself on mental illness and I think everyone should do too. We shouldn't be taking this lightly as we have been in the past. We need to address it and we need to do better where and when we can. 

Jong Hyun was a wonderful performer and he was a respected artist in the Korean pop industry. He was funny, entertaining and so sweet to everyone around him. Apt to the name of the group he rose to fame in, he was a star and he will always be. I can't put into words how sad I feel that he had to go through that alone. How hard it must've been for him to end the pain he was going through. 

I wish love and light for everyone suffering depression or any form of mental illness and I hope you pull through this, one day at a time. You are worth it and you are wonderful and you deserve a lifetime of great happiness. I'm sorry you don't feel it yet but with lots of prayers and wishes, you will. I pray that the day you see the light at the end of the tunnel, even if it's just a glimpse, comes soon. 

Jong Hyun, thank you for making days brighter for those who cared for you. I got into K-pop just as SHINee was about to make a come back for View and I got into it so quick after hearing SHINee's music. You and SHINee played a part in my love for K-pop which is why I've been speechless about this until now. I can't put this into words.

Taken from SMTOWN Global's official twitter. (Translation: Jonghyun, who loved music and enjoyed the stage more than anyone else and who loved communicating with his fans through music. The best artist. We'll remember you forever)

May God bless and may the days to come be full of joy and warmth and ease.


Monday, December 11, 2017

Burgers at the hospital

Ok so hi.

I have the day off tomorrow! Yayyyy, I love public holidays and I don't care what anyone says! I'm essentially only working 4 days of next week and then I'll be off 'til 2018 and I'm so stoked! It'll feel like cuti sekolah again. I can imagine allll the days of me lying down and watching endless dramas.

I've started getting into Designated Survivor and it was... ok. It wasn't fantastic but ok lah, I was from one episode to another. It wasn't gripping. I watched it on my Netflix trying to squeeze as much as I can before the free trial ends in about a week. I haven't utilised much of it to be completely honest. When I was watching Designated Survivor, I was sleeping at 3-4am which is horrible because I had to get up at 9 the next day! And waking up at 9 would usually mean I'm at least 15 minutes late to work. So I stopped while I was ahead (or more like it got boring and meh) and now I'm... kinda back to a normal-ish sleeping routine? I was breaking out from sleeping so little so I'm trying to gain back all the hours I missed out on sleeping. Tonight, though, I think I'm going be up late. Since I'm at liberty to wake up pretty late tomorrow. EXCITED!

Today was pretty eventful. Got up early to go and see my friend, Hafeez, who got involved in a pretty horrific car accident. Alhamdulillah syukur, he only escaped with just a broken collarbone (still very ouch because he had to have a plate with 7 (!!) screws inserted). I got McDonalds breakfast for him and for another friend and we ate in the hospital room. This would be my second time having a meal in a hospital room because of a friend who got admitted. And hopefully my last! Maybe the next time when someone has given birth or something. But drive safely everyone!!! No one wants to have 7 screws in their body!!! He even made fun of how airport security is going to be a bitch from now on with all the metal in his body. *rolls eyes* And they say I'm dramatic.

Me with my burger. And my friend, the temporarily disabled Hafeez.

And then I got home and rested for a bit - tried watching an episode of something but it was sooooo slow so I slept hahaha. Had a birthday dinner at a Japanese restaurant at PJ and I had a plate of unagi cheese maki. I think that was what it was called? It was ok. I'm still so-so with Japanese food but it was the company that was a lot more enjoyable! Haven't seen the lot since the last week of Raya so I really looked forward to seeing everyone tonight.

I haven't hung out with friends in so long so a night out was much needed. I like to be reminded that I'm 24 and still young hahaha

So, another one leaves the team. Cryyyy. Raissa, the creative and marketing girl at NH has officially left the team. She is such a ball of sunshine and she makes our days in the office. So bubbly and so loud all the time, she's such a gem and we'll miss her lots and lots but she's just so good at what she does that wherever she lucks out on, she'll do amazing things! Love you girl, can't wait to see what's in store for you!!

Random tangent but BTS (aka favourite Korean boy group ever... in life... in the history of ever) just held their huge concert in Korea and I'm determined as ever to save up to go for their concert soon. I just need to. It's just something I HAVE to go for, I cannot pass up the opportunity again. Stay tuned!!! 

Photos from their official Twitter account.

Ok going to continue watching that really slow drama because my sister swears by it and it's being produced by the same folks over at Reply 1988 (y'know... the one that I'm an unofficial ambassador of) so I'm quite determined to watch it at least 'til the end of the first episode. With these Korean dramas, sometimes you need to just give it a chance. But damn, it's an hour and a half PER EPISODE. Yep, definitely the same people from Reply 1988 behind this one.

This post is so messy but oh well.

Have a wonderful Monday, everyone! Just to rub it in your face, I'll be in bed 'til at least 2pm. On a MONDAY. Night!


Friday, December 1, 2017

It's December??

Um hello hi it's already December. Didn't we ALL just tweeted out "May the 4th be with you"???

Anyway, apologies for the non-blogging. I've just been busy, tired and uninspired to write about anything. I haven't taken a break from working so I still have a good amount of leave days left to be utilised. My family and I aren't making trips anywhere this year because we still have 2 girls in uni and they don't get much of a term break. I'm planning to only making a trip to Penang because I want to go see my grandparents and well, I really love Penang. And we're thinking of getting the train this time which should be fun. 

I'm excited for the new year to start. These past few weeks have seen me question a lot of my choices over the year. I feel like I can do so much better but I'm stalling it for absolutely no reason. It's hindering me from potentially doing things that are above and beyond me. Like I can see it but I can't seem to get there. It's very suffocating and frustrating. Which is why I kinda don't mind seeing the new year come quicker. I feel I need a new slate - starting now in December feels like a last minute effort to have things 0-100. I've already drafted new resolutions and I'm determined to make it happen. 2017 was brilliant, it was the first full year of being a proper working adult. But I need a new, clean, organised state. My mum has been posting throwback photos of our younger selves and she's so reminiscent about it which is cute. I can't believe I'm about to turn 25 next month. What's going on????? 


It's a long weekend for us here in Malaysia - yay! I was working both days last weekend for an event and it was hella hectic. We had a booth at Marktplatz which is Mimpikita's annual warehouse sale and we were one of the vendors. We sold soooo many shoes and we never really got to take a breather, it was manic! By the end of day 1, my whole body was sore which I thought was my body being dramatic until my friend told me the same thing. Second day of the event was a bit quiet in the morning but picked up pace by the end of the day. We walked away with a handsome amount of sales which is always good but man, that shit was tiring. Selling shoes to women looking for bargains is.. no... joke...

With my partner-in-crime. 

Syazwan and Nina were the one of many friends I met over the weekend. 

Good job, team! 

I wanted to blog some other things but I think I'll have it spread out to a few other posts. I'm going to have my haircut tomorrow and I AM SO STOKED!! 

Hope everyone has a lazy weekend! Don't check your work email.


Sunday, November 12, 2017

HIBT and Casey

Nothing quite like a Sunday spent lying in and taking a few naps and watching endless Youtube videos.

I did my laundry, vacuumed my room, scrubbed the toilet floor and walls, and washed the dishes after lunch, showered (am a dedicated cold-shower person now), prayed Isyak and wore a sheet mask to calm my purge of zits. My ideal Sunday probably wouldn't have consisted of doing chores but I mean, this was a good Sunday anyway because I had a good rest.

Went out for a surprise birthday dinner last night celebrating Syazwan's 24th birthday this coming Tuesday. And I was very excited about it because i) I haven't seen friends in a long time ii) I got to dress up a bit iii) I got to eat lasagna (which I found to not be that good but I'll make do). So nice to meet up with friends again that wasn't at a mamak haha.

It's irritating me that this photo isn't straight but I can't be arsed to fix it.

What I've been doing an awful lot these past week or so is listening to a LOT of How I Built This podcast. Sometimes I'd listen to an episode more than once. I think the reason why I've always wanted to start my own thing is not just because I love fashion and retail but because I genuinely am very, very interested and intrigued by the business world - it's so hectic and unpredictable and sometimes doesn't make sense at all but that's why I love it. I'm so curious about the dynamics of the ever changing market. Pair that with my habit of wanting to know everything about everyone and my endless need to understand how things are made and you have a #1 fan of a podcast. I'm so inspired every time I listen to an episode and I always, ALWAYS pester my family and friends to listen to them because it's just so good. I look forward to my long car rides home from work because that's all I listen to. Music isn't cutting it anymore for me hahaha. I think I've probably mentioned it way too many times here on my blog but I tried listening to other podcasts about entrepreneurship and start-up's and all that but it doesn't have the same... charm as How I Built This does. Listen here.

Another thing I'm obsessed with is Casey Neistat. Oh my God, I love the guy and the content he puts out. He is such a breath of fresh air. The only other daily vlogs I used to watch is Judy and her family but I fell off the wagon and now I've discovered Casey I feel like I can't go back to any other vlogs that doesn't have a drone shot and chaotic filming hahaha. He makes everyday feel like an event and he's just an ace filmmaker in general - the effort he puts out for his vlogs deserves the attention he's getting and more! I can't even piece a good 10 minute vlog (I still have my Singaporean trip in drafts and that trip was in September) and this guy is putting out videos with crazy good content and if you watch it, you know what I mean when I say how he makes his vlogs so effortless. I would've finish watching a video and I'm like "That was it???", not realising it was a good 15 minute video which in vlog time is pretty damn long. And on top of all that, he also seems like a solid great guy. Whenever he has fans saying 'hi' to him, he's always a sport about it and he LOVES his kids and it always makes me smile when he explicitly tells how much he loves his wife, son and baby daughter. And he makes me want to go to New York just *that* much more. LOVE HIM.

As for personal life, work is going okay and no, no boyfriend yet. 


Sunday, October 29, 2017

Silkscreen and a rant

November is in 3 days. 

It's a lazy Sunday which is my favourite kind of Sunday's. It's 11:15, skipped out breakfast and now hungry. Mum's cooking lunch and she texted me last night what I wanted to eat and I said masak lemak. Masak lemak with ikan goreng with sambal belacan with telur goreng? Yes. 

Yesterday I had to work for an in-store event. There was a silkscreen tutorial and participants were invited to learn how to print on a t-shirt. It was in conjunction with Pink October and everyone played around with a stencil of a nasi lemak. Bangsar Village also organised a Trick o Treat event and kids were all in costumes and they went from one shop to another for candy. Which I just thought was the cutest thing in life. Saw everyone from Belle to a Starbucks. Yes! Someone dressed as Starbucks cup hahaha. I've never experienced Halloween but I'd totally dress up as Cher from Clueless. It's been a lifelong dream, you can say.

Also, Singapore Fashion Week is happening now and I'm so dead jealous that it's being held at the National Gallery. That place is so stunning - the architecture of it all is massive and so beautiful. I was there during my trip to Singapore recently for the Yayoi Kusama exhibit and I was sooo taken by the gallery. It's so modern, it's so well-kept, it's so impressive. And for Fashion Week to be held there - divine idea. If you don't already know, I hate (and I'm being very generous here) that our fashion week is held in a public shopping mall. I think it's so... boring. There's no creativity for the designers to make their stage their own. Maybe it's because I'm so used to seeing fashion capitals hold their fashion week in unique places and making it personal. They have their own kind of runway, they have their own kind of seats, they have their own kind of interior, they have their own kind of performance. It gives the brand its character, right? Here, everyone's the same. Which in any other case, I'm totally fine with (#equality) but these are fashion brands who are trying to distinct themselves from everyone else. I've also been backstage for a show once and it's really not like how you see it everywhere else. Models actually get their hair and make-up done elsewhere and they only come rushing in backstage to change clothes. So really, even in terms of practicality and convenience, it's not a good idea to have it in a mall. It should be done properly and just organised better. I hate it. I've heard justification from its management saying by hosting it a public mall, it allows the public to see it and to experience a fashion show just like any one else. This is cute. Because if you really want it to be an immersive experience for the public then maybe the brands should also CATER for everyone else? Have you seen the prices on these designer things????? I'm not about to pay a 1000 ringgit for a jacket?? Also, invite people not because they are influencers but because they work in fashion and they are editors, and stylists and writers. It'll be very hard to convince me that an Instagrammer is going to influence me to get a 1000 ringgit jacket. Really hard. Try lah if you can but I doubt it. 

Sorry for going off on a tangent but I was looking through photos of SGFW and can't help but be so envious and mesmerised by how cool the whole location is. We need to up our game is allll I'm saying. Just had to rant that out somewhere that didn't limit my thoughts to 140 characters. I stress on thoughts. Anything and everything ever written on my blog is 110% my own opinion and thoughts and so, you're more than welcome to disagree but ultimately, this is still where I stand and it's still going to be up on my blog. Just had to be clear on that.

Anyway. Hope the coming week is better. I was up and about so much in the last week so I hope this week sees me more... organised and sane...? 


Sunday, October 15, 2017

Five Minutes (#1)

I'm going to time myself and write everything within 5 minutes. 

This will be random.
  •  My skin is so dry. I have aloe vera lathered all over my face and my skin is DRINKING it like nothing else. Maybe also due to the OXY10 I've been putting. Damn pimples.
  •  Should resumé's include photos? I say no because it's unprofessional and what has my looks got to do with how well I work anyway? 
  •  I really need a new pair of jeans - one that's high waisted, cropped and flared. Maybe I just need a new belt that fits me well. I hate having to go the cobbler or tailor to fix anything post-purchase. I want something I can buy and wear NOW.
  •  I'm watching While You Were Sleeping and it's a brilliant Korean drama. It's my new 'CAN'T WAIT FOR NEXT WEEK'S' drama. Last one was Fight My Way.
  •  Listened to Jessie J's new single, "Not My Ex" and it's bringing me back to my KY days where Jessie J was ALL that I listened to.
  •  I'm seeing everyone get married and I'm feeling a pang of, "Why am I alone" feels.
  •  Skipped dinner and I always regret doing it because I'm so close to driving to McDonalds and buying me some fries. At 11:23pm.


Sunday, October 8, 2017

Quick Snaps #4

Last I did a quick snap post was in July so thought I'd bring it back. 

- Hazeem's Wedding -

So, not too long ago, Hazeem got married! Hazeem was our senior in college but he's actually just the same age as us. One of the nicest boys I've met and so when he invited a bunch of us to his wedding, we definitely got excited. And it was really fun because I got to meet so many friends whom I haven't seen in so long. 

I also managed to find an outfit to wear. My prom dress from my senior year in college. It's tight but I persevered through! Sucked in my tummy and strategically placing my clutch over it whenever we took photos. The boys wanted to lepak right after but I was like, "Nuh-uh, no thanks, bye have fun!" because I didn't bring a spare outfit and I wasn't about to go to a mamak wearing a dress that was not my size anymore. But I loved dressing up so ahem, friends, more weddings please!! And let me know in advance so can diet for a bit hahah

With Fatin. Whenever we meet, we're always kinda agonising about work hahaha. Miss this habibi, can't wait for 3 hour lunches again.

With the lovely Ibrahim sisters, Saara and Faara. Both my seniors in KY. Got close to Saara (the one on the left) because she, like me, is a huge Korean fan and we both speak Korean so that was really fun. We bonded over our love for Reply 1988 hehe. KOREA MANIA BRINGS PEOPLE TOGETHER.

With the married one here. So cute - Ha and her husband came in matching pink. Shall I subject my future husband to matchy outfits? Of course.

With a high school friend, Hakim, whom I haven't seen in 7 YEARS!!!!! He is such a hermit - he doesn't have any social media that he's active on and he's hardly out and about. He was one of the groomsmen (he and Hazeem were housemates in Canterbury) so this is such a small world but so nice to see this boy again. We're exactly the same since high school btw, we've not changed.

HAHAHAHAHA looking back at all the photos and it's SO funny and dumb that I have my clutch on my tummy in EVERY photo hahahahaha ok next time definitely not wearing tight dresses.


This was my first time at Riuh. We had to work because Nelissa had a small booth up for the weekend. It was soooo much fun. I was working but we were free to roam around whenever we were free. And it's actually really fun to meet up with people who are a fan of the brand. But the whole event was so amazing - it was so heartwarming to see people come over to an event that was supporting everything local! Local food, drink, music, clothes, brands, everything! I think we're still not there yet in terms of supporting local (because if we were, we won't really be shouting from the rooftops that "WE LOVE LOCAL PRODUCTS! SUPPORT LOCAL!") but I love that people are coming out to do it as much as they can. It's so nice to see. Or as I like to say it, "Sedap mata memandang" which I think is such an apt and beautiful thing to say. But anyways! Riuh is held every month for a weekend so the next one is going to be on the 21st and 22nd October so stay tuned! NH won't be having a booth then but I'll still definitely go because I had so much fun the last time. Hope to see more and more people at the next one!

I didn't have this because.... it wasn't that appealing to me to have rice and bread in one dish but people say it's pretty overwhelming. Definitely a meal to share around.

Ok talk about an overexposed photo. This is Shiqa, a relative of mine whom I haven't seen in soooo long. Remember seeing she had this huge Barbie house when we were younger and I was SO jealous. This was actually our second time meeting after years and years not seeing each other. The first was at Hazeem's wedding! Like I said, small world.

Tip : Bring cash. And a lot of it because food is quite pricey here.

With Nadira. The ever cute, ever bubbly Nadira. She then told me off for using a plastic straw. She's a strong environmentalist and so inspiring. She carries a metal straw everywhere k! Dedication right here! 

The first day of Riuh was Malaysia Day and it was also the Keretapi Sarong day! So people were riding public transport with their sarong's and we saw so many people come by to the event wearing sarongs. It was such a great day to see people celebrate Malaysia at a locally curated event.

Such a smart idea. So simple and yet so fun - for all ages! Something about soap water forming into transparent shiny floating balls is just so timeless. And cheap! But there were a couple of kids who didn't understand the concept so they were just flinging around soap water. Err, parents??? 


Anis, bless her heart, bought us all a Tupperware water bottle. She carried one herself and she must've thought we were not drinking enough water at work ('cept for me, I'm the heaviest drinker in the office!) because she got all of us one! Sweet.

Out with Hanna for an ayam penyet lunch (what else, amirite??). And this was her last full day and she spent her lunch with me!!! I appreciated my last few days before going back to the UK and I made sure to spend a lot of it with just family (because a lot of my friends were flying back to the same place) so was really nice of her to reach out to me for lunch! 

Genuinely was curious what app everyone was using for the film-like filter and found out it was Gudak. It's suchhhh a cool concept. Basically, it's like a film camera only on a phone. You can't choose a filter, you can't adjust and edit the photo, you can't even have a full screen view of the photo you're taking!!! It's through a tiny view finder, much like in a film camera. So cool. And you have to complete all 24 (?) films and then ONLY will it develop. And developing time takes freaking 72 hours to complete. And you can't even cheat by adjusting your dates on your phone. It's wonderful. I love film cameras but can't afford to buy one, or at least maintain one, so this would do. You do have to buy the app though but only for RM3.90 and that's a pretty good steal methinks. 

This is random but this is my FIRST milo ais in so long. I'm a serial sirap limau drinker but I haven't had it in so long because I'm trying this new thing where I lessen my sugar intake (also in efforts to save money during lunchtime). So for a change, thought I had a milo ais. Just me or is McDonald's milo ais still the best.com???

Our monthly reunion! We had ayam penyet for dinner at Lekor, The Curve. Upon my recommendation of course (I'm oBSESSED!!!!) and they loved it too which was great! I can't be the only one who hates recommending food places to go because of the unnecessary burden you carry for choosing a place for everyone and the follow-up guilt if the food turned out bad??

Night time with the boys playing Avalon and being the loudest table around. Avalon is a pretty emotional game - you have to be INVESTED in order to win. First time I played this game, I hated everyone and legit wanted to leave the house. So extra.

This was during a Saturday night when everyone participated in cooking a western dinner. And I didn't do anything because I had a pretty long nap and didn't come down to help out. Felt SO bad about it so I volunteered to wash the dishes. But food was great. Thanks to Mama's 3 helpers (not me).

Thing about Gudak is that you have to finish all 24 films before it gets developed so this was really to finish the last few films.

Went to Pavilion last weekend to have lunch at Dolly's before Tania started her academic year. Stopped at Zara and found this jacket AND I REALLY WANT IT. It's so warm and fuzzy and would've totally kept me warm in my years in Bristol. Went to OU yesterday and saw this at a reduced price and I was legit contemplating about it for a good 30 minutes. When will I be traveling to a country during winter??? Do I really need this jacket??? It's a pretty good investment considering it's now so affordable. Is it unnecessary??? Ugh.

Had tea at Ben's. I don't know why I still go to Ben's when it's really just very mediocre. Meh.

Best thing about driving (and not taking an Uber) is that you get to divert to different places on your own accord and time. After watching a movie, lunching, and shopping at OU, I had an intense craving for Coke (or anything sweet really) and because McDonalds drive through was out of the way, we stopped by Taman Tun's famous soya bean van, Jenny Hong. Only the best soya bean ever.

Woke up early to catch this movie. AND I LOVE IT. IT'S SO, SO, SO FUNNY AND SO GOOD! It's a typical bro-cop movie but it was legitimately very funny. I enjoyed it intensely. Also, Kang Ha Neul and Park Seo Joon helped. ONLY MY 2 FAVOURITE KOREAN ACTORS EVER EVER EVER AND ON ONE SCREEN TOGETHER?? Bye.

- - -

That's all I got for this post! Will share more in my next one.

In the meantime, up your water intake (it's so hot out now so hydrate properly!), don't stress, and may the next week be better than the last one.