Friday, May 30, 2008


to Farah Hani
My condolences to her dear family and friends.



i'm a girl with needs. even the queen gets bored.

i need new things constantly, let it be new shoes, haircut or personality. i get bored with things really easy. which is bad.

i get frustrated when i don't understand things, which happens almost always. it's like you have to repeat the same thing 30 times for me to really register in my head which is i know, very annoying. believe me, it's even more annoying to be the one who's asking you to repeat. it makes me feel stupid.

i care about what other people think. i care about what they feel. i watch my words. i don't just say it without realising how much it hurts. the reason i do this (trust me, i really don't want to) is because alot of people out there have done it to me. said things that was very ouch-worthy but i'm a natural in flashing a fake smile, so hey.

i lie so much, i should get an award. but i lie in the sense that it's for the good, y'knw. soooooooo..

i really really really really really want to go to London to study. i don't mind leaving home for awhile, though i will miss practically everything, i really really really really still want to go to London.
study what ? god knows la kan

i have hard time committing. like now, i can't even think of what to type in. i feel like deleting everytime and forget about the whole post. but it feels like a waste. so why not just go on. like i said, i hate committing to one thing UNLESS though, unless i have a burning passion for it. right now, it's only fashion that i can keep up with. i went to a piano class like when i was 7 or 8, stopped like a few months later. mainly cause i didn't like the teacher. but i think, the thought of practicing EVERY WEEK is a nightmare. like, i don't even have to GO classes. the class is just downstairs. i have a piano so there's no need to actually go to a centre. EVEN THAT, I CAN'T DO. WHAT THE MOTHER FATHER ?! HAHAHAHAH

i hate braggers. who doesn't, right ? but i hate them to the max. seriously, i can't stand people who tells about their too good to be true adventures. it's not real at all. i can tell liars cause i'm one, remember ? -_-" i can tell if you're telling the truth or not. so don't bother brag. personally, i think if you brag, it proves that you really are desperate for attention. you don't have to tell people that you went to London and bought Louboutin (totally exaggerating, bytheway. Louboutin's cost more than your wardrobe and mine combined, no shit) shoes. PUH-LEASE. keep it on the low, man. you're no millionaire, so don't act like one.

i have a bunch of friends whom i miss so much.

Aina, Shira, Kyrina
They're my bestest bestest best friends. They're the one i can act totally myself. Like really really really really really myself. Not even like the one you see in school. They know me well. I love them to millions bit of pieces.

Fatimah, Amal, Illi
Also my bestest bestest best friends. They are honestly, about the nicest people you can ever find on this planet earth. Seriously. ESPECIALLY FATIMAH. Ohmygod, are you kidding me ? She's so nice, i could kill her for it. And they're totally funny. I could laugh like crap. Not just them la. Like, there was Hazirah, Shu, DINA (OHMYGOD, I MISS HER LIKE FREAKIN' CRAZY MUCH) I used to actually when i was at SMKBSD1. I never laughed so hard. I don't think i have ever since. Like, around my friends. I miss them a kabillion. They're fantastic. gila babi punya rindu sial korang, eeeee.

ok, i'm blank now.

i'm a very hard person to please. i have way too high expectations, it's sickenning. Nothing impresses me too much. Ok, maybe some but rarely. I don't laugh at people's joke, i just fake laugh. That's why buying clothes can get tough. NOTHING FREAKIN' IMPRESSES ME. It's hard on me, hahahaha.



Wednesday, May 28, 2008

be loud,

Holiday's are going well.
Went out with Sarah and Ila yesterday to OneUtama.
Was good, really. Had a loooooong talk at Carls Junior, ehekehekehek.
Before that, we went to catch Narnia. Was good, though i didn't understand in the beginning. That's because i didn't watch the first one -___-"
I'm too lazy to elaborate


Today, however, i don't know where.
Mama ajak me to go watch What Happens In Vegas.
I'm down with that, hahahahaha.

ANYWAY, i'm free this week. BY next week, i'm going to the library often. (JYEAH OOOKAY)

Happy Holidays, everyone.

You know you love me,

i'm so freakin' hooked on Gossip Girl, i've incorporated anything GG into my life, it's ridiculous.

Monday, May 26, 2008

for me,

This year isn't a good year, people.
And it just so happens to be the year i'm sitting for freakin' pmr
Not a good year, NOT A GOOD YEAR.

I bitched and got bitched, i hurt and got hurt, i got bad grades, i lost a friend for awhile there, i humiliated myself and i got disappointing expectations.


Sunday, May 25, 2008

shut up,

I like privacy. I'm a private person. I don't share my feelings often. Atleast, not deep thoughts and crap.
I didn't think you'd do that. Showing that to him.
Pernah sekali kena, sakit hati je buat for the 2nd time.

I thought it was just for us.
I guess i was wrong, hm.


p/s : I'm free. No dates. No nothing. Call me.

Saturday, May 24, 2008

another thing,

don't judge me, cause of some stupid thing. don't tell me i should get a life.
you don't even freakin' know me.


more me,

The holidays are here !
And i started it off with watching Gossip Girl. It's so delicious. To be precise, CHACE is delicious. Yum-my. Hehe
Today was good too. Went to One Utama with grandparents and mum. Got a top from Topshop and Zara. Ate lunch at Ms Read. Came back, was awfully tired so slept and woke up to an empty house. Heh.

I'm too lazy to elaborate or Teachers Day, choral speaking competition and such.

I'm so blank right now, mannnnn. I so wish for a holiday overseas. Right now, i would do (almost) anything for London and/or Europe. Though, it's quite impossible cause crappy PMR is like a few months away. WHICH reminds me, i have to freakin' finish my Geo folio. SHIT. I'm so dead. AND my bm folio. I'm so dead. I promised mum i'd have an equal share of outings and trips to the library. Which is fair enough. Maybe not. The more i go out, the more i have to study. The less i go out, the more i have to study too. Ooookay, i got tricked. Hahahahahahahahhaha
I don't know why i laughed.

Everyone's blog has all those emo posts and i realise i don't really have one. An emo post i mean. Where they talk about life (and death) and being all heartbroken. Maybe because i haven't been heartbroken. Or maybe, i have but i don't share it with everyone. That's one thing you should know about me. I don't share.

I've given career a thought or two. I can't really figure out what that i want to pursue. My dream is for fashion, ofcourse but chances of me getting big is not so bright. Malaysia isn't really too big on fashion, now is ittttt ? The designers here are crappy. They design crap. Not really, but you get the point. It's too hedious to bare. I mean, seriously, do you HAVE to incorporate batik in EVERYTHING ? I know la, it's Malaysia's pride and joy but like, they are different things you could freakin' experiment.
-_-" And they're (Malaysian designers) too over. Like, every outfit is not compete with frills (and shrills) . Ee. Can't you just design a simple black dress without any frills, glitter, sequins, BATIK ? ICK ICK ICK. Ok, back to the topic. Like i said, if i were to launch my so called fashion career here in Malaysia, i don't think i'll do to well. Which is so heartbreaking (HEY, this can be my first heartbreak!). So, maybe i'll opt for hm ? Law.
EVEN the name is boring. 3 letters. WHAT THE HELLL ? But hell, i can put up for an argue. And that's what they do, right ? Argue. And sign papers. Shouldn't be hard.
Or.. i could be a graphic designer. That's more me, right ? Compared to law ? I mean, i could study in England and be a kick-ass graphic designer. That's an idea. But i suck at arts. But then again, i could learn. Like everyone else.
ORRRRR.. i could be a fashion editor like Anna Wintour. Ok, maybe not like her. Cause i'd have to get that bob hair cut and Fendi mink coats. And get my nose repositioned to be higher so i can give everyone the impression that i'm stuck up. Haha. But really, i already love fashion and magazines. Fashion editor is a job which includes both of my love. I could be a stylist for the photoshoot and get to be all bossy because hey, that IS what i do best.
Maybe a business woman ? What i could pretty much gurantee about being in business is that, chances of you getting really really rich, is very high. And it pretty much comes down to that, right ? Being rich. Ok, not in that sense. But being successful and comfortable. I mean, you're going to have a family to support. In the words of Kimora, 'I bring back the bacon. And Hassan cooks it'. I find that funny cause Hassan's her personal chef. Hehehe.

But, still, my heart still goes to fashion. It's ridiculous, i know. But you can never take the fashion out of me. And you can't take me out of fashion. It goes something like that lah. Hahahaha

All i know is that, when i grow up, i wanna be the same 15 year old girl you see now. Minus the pimples and awkward phase that i'm going through. Also, the bad hair days.
I want to be a super mum who gets her kids ready in 10 (which bytheway, is impossible). I want to be a wife to the most amazing guy everrrrrr. I want to be the daughter who never forgets her parents. I want to be the friend that i am now. I still want to go out an get a manicure with Sarah when she and I have kids. I still want to go out with Rachael, Ashley, Karen and everyone when i'm 30. I still want that when i grow up. I still want to come back to this house and sleep in my room with the iPod blasting loud. I don't want to let go of this phase just yet. I'm having too much fun loving it.


P/S : My first post where i really pour out my heart. Something that DOESN'T relate to guys and crushes. More me.

Friday, May 23, 2008

and so

Tagged by ; Rachael and Ashley. Both of you named me first, verrrrrrrrrrrry nice. -.-' hahahaha

Remove 1 question from below,and add in your personal question,make it a total of 20 questions,then tag 8 people in your list,list them out at the end of this post.Notify them in their chat box that he/she has been tagged

.1. At what age do you wish to marry?
Before i hit 30

2. Where will you go if someone sponsors you a tour ticket?

3. What's your favorite thing to do?
Sleep and read. And shop. And talk.

4. Do you think money can buy happiness?

5. If you can have 1 dream to come true, what would it be?
Get the best life

6. Do you believe you can survive without money?

7. What are you afraid to lose the most?
My family

8. If you win $1 million, what would you do?
Honestly ? I'd give them to my parents. I can't handle a million.

9. How would you describe your love?
It's real

10. List out 3 good points of the person who tagged you?
They're the awesome-st.
They love me
I love them more

11. What are the requirements that you wish from the other half?
Heh ? Other half ?

12. If you could rewind time would you?
Maybe, just a little bit

13. What's your ambition?
I've always wanted to be a fashion designer but heyyy, not all dreams come true, so..

14. If you can teleport once, where would you go?
I don't know

15. What do you think is the most important thing in your life?
Family and friends

16. If you could undo doing one mistake in the past, what would it be?
I have millions but if i undo one, then i'll probably won't learn from that mistake, right ?

17. If you have a chance, which part of your character would you like to change?
I wish to be more chilled

18. What music have you been listening to recently?
My music list varies from all kinds of genres so there's no saying one

19. What is the one thing you cannot do but you wish you could?
Get A's );

20. What song can you remember the WHOLE lyrics from heart? (this is my question)
Alot. Hahaha

I tag :

anyone who reads this

I just finished watching gossipgirl.


Gossip Girl



Tuesday, May 20, 2008

huge grudge,

I swear, Erin Fetherston is the modern age Marie Antoinette. Only that, Erin's not a Queen and we eat more than cake.

I can't watch my Gossip Girl.
It's so depressing
It's so sad
It's so

.. i'm out of words.

I think i shall crash Asyraf's house.
I need, no MUST watch it. It's getting annoying when they tell me what's going on. I try to stop them. They don't listen. Not surprised.

I realised that i want so many things. I need a new haircut which i shall get this holidays. And i need to have new shoes. Cause my platforms died and went to heaven. My flats are too small to fit a bird. And my slippers are getting old. So, really, i have no shoes. That's way depressing. Way. I mean, i don't mind paying alot for shoes. It's something i use everyday so it had better be comfortable. I saw this sandals from Topshop in KLCC cause really, the one at OneUtama is kinda, sorta, mmmaybe pathetic. Compared to the other branches, it's tiny. But whatever. I need shoes. Let it be gladiator sandals that screams Mischa Barton or leather pumps, i need a new pair.

I also need a new bag. My MiuMiu is boring. It's beigey pink so it's a bit hard to match. Hohum. Prada anyone ?

OH, i want a polaroid camera. They're so cool they just might make ice cubes look bad. Ok, cheesy. Syakir wants a fish eye. He already has an SLR one so i don't see why he needs another uber cool camera. I HAVE to stop using the word 'cool'. It's tacky like MC Hammer's pants.

I shall hit the books.


Monday, May 19, 2008

free world,

i have a choice. to voice out or to just shut up. it has an equal share of pros and cons.

1) It proves that i'm not going to lose just yet
2) I don't want to look like a pathetic lame ass.

1) Nanti ada orang terasa, pastu buat kecoh satu dunia
2) Too lazy to care, i got other things that are freakin' WORTH my time

1) So it won't waste up my time
2) I appear to be the better one because i have shut the hell up

1) It'll make me appear as the weak one as well.
2) She wins

I need my friends.
Let's get a mani, eat like shit and laugh the crap off
I need it.

p/s : Kau jangan la perasan yang about me aku tu untuk kau.
I had no intentions to do it for you in mind. Please la, i got better things on my hands. Cakap dah tak nak layan. Fine, i pun la kan. Pastu when i did that about me, kau nak terasa apa hal. I swear on my mum that it wasn't for you. Cakap je orang syok sendiri kan. I wrote my post on that blog (which apparently you terasa also), like when this thing was on it's peak. When i could hear someone shouting out NAJIS from above. Tu dah over dah kan. You don't know that person well, mana boleh doh panggil orang cam tu. Bitch kira ok lagi. Najis dah over cam sial. God's creation najis la eh ? I didn't know that. -_-" I was backing up my friend. Salah sangat ke ? Before that incident, aku tak ingin la nak tulis post untuk kau. I only wrote it cause you went too far panggil orang najis. Kalau ya pun aku tulis, aku tak letak pun url aku terbentang kat myspace. Anak Puan Mazliza berperangai buruk ? Heh. Macam kau tak.


check it out.
it's the shiznit.

you know you love me,

I'm so addicted with gossipgirls, it's not funnyyyyyy.
I'm reading their prequel.
I don't really read their novels because i'd rather watch the series (freakin' awesome).
But yeah, i told myself, wht the heyyy.


And Nate is so hot, he's mine.


p/s: I'm sorry for not updating. Not in the mood. MPO another time la.

Monday, May 12, 2008

coffee, tea or me ?

I'm so stressed.
It's very unnecessary, y'know.
I wanna be like her.

Today was Geography, Science Paper 1 and 2. I slept at 2 the night before (which is nothing new these days) due to cramming my freakin' brain with freakin' facts. I woke up at 6, goddamnit. I was so sleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeepy.

Geography paper was okay. I studied like shit. I got 73% the test before which is very frustrating cause it's a mark away from an A. I had better get an A this time. But the smart people (namely Najihah, Natrah cause they're infront of me) talks about their answers and makes me uncomfortable. So, after checking my answers 2 times, i slept. I was too sleepy, serious shit. It was craaaazy. Was never THAT sleepy. Cikgu Yu's voice woke me up. -_-" Next paper was Science Paper 1. That too, was alright. I would love to say it was easy but i don't want to cause nanti tak dapat A, malu gila babi. Hahaha

BUT.. it all came crashing down with Science Paper 2. I don't know about y'all but it was quite hard for me. ESPECIALLY QUESTION NUMBER 7. I SWEAR, I COULD KILL IT IF WERE A LIVING THING. But it's not, so..

I slept too after checking my (stupid) answers. I woke up and it was already time to pass the paper up. I didn't realise i was in such deep sleep cause when i woke up, my foot and hands were so numb, i couldn't move it at all. I had to move my hand vigorously to make it better.

But it didn't.

It made it worse. Cause for me, the 2nd stage after being all numb, is the pins and needles feeling. And that one lagiiiiiii saaaaaaaakiiiiiiiit.
My foot pun. I seriously couldn't move it. And i couldn't stand up straight. It was like i was falling. I had a major headache. And when going down the stairs, i had to hold Najihah's hand to keep me standing straight and from not falling. It was horrible. The sun was piercing. I had to squint my eyes which DID NOT help the fact that i was already pening gila babi.


Went to KAYU to eat and Mama had to go to the bank. She said 'Just a quickie'. Apparently, a quickie means 45 minutes (or more). I slept cause my head was killing me. My body was hot (not 'hot' sexy. Hot 'panas') and i was sweating in the car. I went straight up to my room after arriving, on the aircond and slept like shit.
Til 7. Bathe, ate porridge. I'm still pening.



Sunday, May 11, 2008

Mama Beats Milan,

My title is so lame, haha.

My Mum and I.

I love my mummmmmm so much, and honest to God, I'd do anything for her.
God doesn't grow them more beautiful than my mum.


Saturday, May 10, 2008

frankie says relax,

I should befriend this Frankie guy.

Good Morning, lovers.

I have a birthday lunch in abit, and i have to get going if i want to make a lasting impression on them.
I've been caught up with my freakin' english literature.

Exam is nearly over, i guess you could say.
I don't even know what's on Monday.
I lost my jadual.
The gang and I planned on going out on Wednesday.
Like a mini celebration for finishing our exam in one piece.

I gotta buck up, maaaaan.


Thursday, May 8, 2008


Maths was today.
And it was crappy shit crappy shit.


I have to freakin' buck up.


Cheer me up


Wednesday, May 7, 2008

a million wishes,

I'm bored.
I just did a post but i feel like blogging.
I really really really really should be studying.
Let's start

This is by my lover, Marc Jacobs

Magherita Missoni's dress and Mischa Barton's hair. Her dress won't hurt

Everything, including those big chunky glasses.

I can't seem to find this bloody thing anywhere

That's all..

..for now



We're having our diagnostic this week.
And the next.
But that also means mid year hols are on it's way.
I need it.
Ok, wait, maybe no.
Cause that also means trips to the library.
I secretly love going there.
Very serene.
But freakin' cold.

So far, we've done BM 1&2 and ENG 1&2
And Sivik but heh, i dnt count that as a subject.

I've put on weight.
I have to stop junk food.

I wish something would freakin' happen cause i'm totally blank NOW.
I have nothing to blog about.
Nada, Zilch.


Ok, i shall get out.
I have Maths tomorrow.
Thank God, we're allowed calculator.


Sunday, May 4, 2008


A guy friend i can mess their hair with and put an arm around his shoulder. That's what i want.

IT'S OFFICIALLY (well, 30 minutes ago) SUNDAY.

But i'll talk about Saturday.

Woke up at an ungodly hour of 7.30.
Slept back because that's too much time wasted on being awake.

Woke up at 8.
(Heh, big difference hm?)
Went online.
As predicted, no one was online.
Wasn't expecting it anyway.

Got ready for school.
First, bought some kuihs and McDonald's for breakfast.
Went to school, and saw a few people.

Class started and i finally understand freakin' accounts.
Class ended by 11.30.
Did woodwork and Mama came, 20 minutes later.
Sent me home and they (the whole family excluding me and my sister) went out to KLCC.
Was tempted to go but neah. Was too lazy.
Continued watching PS I LOVE YOU and it's a sweet movie.
But not as sweet as The Notebook.
THAT, is the ultimate.
I haven't watched A Walk To Remember yet, soo..

Lazed around and i didn't study one freakin' shit.
Not ONE.
Minus the kh at school.

I didn't study at all.

Holy crap, i shall fail and die.

Oookay, nothing that drastic but close.
My outings have been limited. I think.
Heh :/

This upcoming holidays won't feel like one.
Exam's are on our asses.
I don't mind, really. Cause this is the only way we'll study.
But, geeeeez. Give us a breakkkk.

I'd love to say a million kabillion things.
But i don't know where to start.

Also a shoutout to Syakir. Thanks for telling me about Yuna. I love her because of you. Hahahaha.

Freakin' sedap weiii her song.
Her voice is like, really really sedap gila babi.

Hmm, what else. I'm in the mood to blog.
I should blog, but about whaaaat.

I can't find the latest NYLON anywhere.
I can't find a pair of good jeans.
I can't find my appetite.
I can't find a decent top.
I can't find shoes.
I can't find myself.
I can't find a reason to learn History.
I can't find common sense.


What's happening to the world ?
I haven't watched E! in a long time.
Nor do i watch the DAILY 10.

I've missed out alot of tv.

Maybe it's for the best.


Someone please say this to me. I need some confidence boost.


A new bag.


Friday, May 2, 2008

trouble sleeping,

It's the title of a song i've recently fallen in love with.
By Corinne Bailey Rae.

Could it be I'm suffering
Because I'm never give in?
Won't say that I'm falling in love
Tell me I don't seem myself
Couldn't I blame something else?

Just don't say I'm falling in love

Hahahaha, so emoooooshit.

No comment.


Anyway, went to the library today.
Cause i thought Debra, Rachael and SANJU were going.
Heh -.-'

Met Lydia, Suraya and Hasifi, anyway.

Studied freakin' sejarah.
I hate the form 3 chapters for history.
They're not one bit interesting.
They're all about UMNO and i'm like, 'whaaaaat?'
Atleast the form 2 chapters were quite interesting cause they were in a form of a story.

There's school for me tomorrow.
I got Puan Nik's accounts class.
I hate saturday classes.
But i'm loseristic idiotic in this chapter so i have to go.

SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO, after library, Maktok (my grandmother who's here for a 'vacation', my mum, and I went to eat dinner at One Utama.
Settled for Nando's Chicken.
It was like just us three.
3 generations.
Quite cool.
I love girl bonding sessions.
Like last night.
I had one with my sister, Tania.
I love talking and laughing with her.
Cause we can make (or well, SHE can make ME) laugh like shitass hard.
We rarely have one, cause she sleeps early and i sleep super late (nothing to be proud of).
So i really treasure ours.
cheh, answer so celebrity like.


Next is Syesha then the top 3 are my boys.
I really hope David Cook wins.
Or Archuleta.
Or Castro.
Heh -_-"

My diagnostic is next Tuesday and i'm shit nervous.
I've improved in my last intervensi from the first intervensi but not good enough.
Near A's.
So, i want to atleast target 5 A's.
Slowly work my way up.
Right ? :/

KAREN ! I wanna talk. Lama lah we haven't borak. We're getting so busy (ok, maybe not) but i've been studying and school's are getting on my nerve.

I've already planned what to do AFTER pmr.
My post PMR plan.

1) I want to shop. Splurge on a something.
2) SLEEPOVER WITH MY GIRLS. Including Rach and all. You guys should come to my house weiiiiii. <3 I have a big screen tv so we can watch our favourite movies and we can cook or bake our own food. And and, we can play in the garden. Hahahahaha. So jakun.
3) Get dolled up for my FIRST occasion after PMR. Maybe a dinner or what shit.
4) Go out for lunch with people.
5) Go bowling.

I have so much more in mind but nothing interesting.
Neh, we'll figure something out.