Tuesday, September 3, 2013

Single (x)

I've had people ask me why I don't have a boyfriend. Jokingly or seriously, I never really know how to answer properly.

I was in college for 2 years. And if you've been a KY kid, you'd know almost everyone is/was with everyone. Like Laguna Beach/Gossip Girl where everyone dated one another. I came out unscathed ! I survived the 2 years without having a longkang session or a walk-together-til-the-walkway-border or eat dinner together at the cafe. None. Nada.

And I was okay with it.

I had best friends around me who had boyfriends. I've listened to all sorts of stories and comforted heartbreaks and swooned with my friends when they were in that period of being so smitten (we've all been there) (and we all miss it) by their partner.
I helped the boyfriends surprise their girlfriends and I've helped the girlfriends plan dinner with their boyfriends and where they should eat and approved outfits for the night and then help cover them from parents. I've even helped deliver flowers to girlfriends from boyfriends.

I've seen it. I was there for it. And while everyone had their late-night boyfriend-girlfriend talks in the hallway, I had to just whiz through rather quickly and awkwardly making small talk ("hey dah habis homework?" or something along those lines). And I always had to make sure that there will be someone I can have my lunch/dinner with so that I wouldn't have to awkwardly sit with a couple.

I never felt pressured to have a boyfriend just 'cause my friends were in relationships. If I had succumbed to peer pressure, I would have started a relationship that was not genuine. A lot of my friends are boyfriend-worthy just because they're really really really lovely and gentlemanly and such sweethearts. But they were my homies. You don't date your homie, bro. It would have been very weird for me and for him and for our friends. I love my guy friends but that 'love' is not transferable and I really cannot imagine being in a romantic relationship with any of them. Don't get me wrong, they're all the best damn guys you'll meet. But that's just that. And I didn't want to force myself into liking them anymore than I already do. It would have been wrong for me and for them. You don't just misplace your heart like that.

You don't say to yourself "I'm going to like the guy, yes, yes, yes I WILL LIKE THAT GUY!". No one does that.

I was not about to be romantically involved with someone just for the sake of having what everyone else had. I was not about to be linked to someone just because everyone had their own special 'someone'.
It was nice seeing couples (although I can't say the same for clingy ones) but I didn't mind seeing it all from a distance. From the point I was standing, I was doing just fine.

I had plenty of happy going around me that I never felt like I needed a boy in my life during those 2 years. I'm pretty damn glad that I spent my 2 years in college being with my mates all the time.

I think all in all, the only reason I can give is that I didn't mind being on my own. I grew up being taught to be very independent and so I never had to rely my own happiness on someone else. That concept is foreign to me. I know so many girls there who have had a ridiculous amount of boyfriends and I really cannot fathom why. I've always found it silly how fast we say our "I love you"'s. So silly how you profess your "I love you"'s so early on in the relationship. Save it for when you KNOW you love him/her. Say it only when he/she means that much to you. And that only comes with time.

Being single is not a bad thing and it shouldn't be thought of in that way. I think this generation thinks too much of the opposite sex and we've grown to be slightly obsessed with being one half of a couple. I think they're cute and they're sweet and sometimes I envy more than I'll ever admit and boyfriends make a hell of a good Instagram photo but sometimes it's nice to be on your own. To think, to create and to be you. I've seen so many of my friends compromise their own self and being for their partner and it's sad to see that. I love the boys as much as the next girl would but I'm doing okay here in Single-ville and that's honestly the only answer I can give. I just wished everyone can understand that too.

Found the saying on Tumblr,

"Respect yourself enough to know you deserve the best"

I'm in no rush to find myself a partner. I'll let life do its thing and if I find someone who'll laugh at my jokes and appreciate my laugh and will go places with me and for me, then I'll marry the hell out of the guy.

So for those still asking "Why are you single?", here's my answer summed up in 2 words...

... "why not?"


  1. Blog walking and found this. And all that i can say, thumbs up for this post! (Y)