Sunday, July 27, 2014

The Boy

I pinch my burger off bit by bit and eat it little by little instead of grabbing it with both hands and biting into it and instead of telling me the correct way of eating a burger, the boy of my dreams will laugh and then say "Ok, let me try doing it". He'll disagree of course, but he won't want me to eat my burger any different.

I don't like vegetables and the boy of my dreams will order my sandwiches with no greens but will make sure there's enough jalapeno and cheese. He'll try to sneak in tomatoes and spend the next 10 minutes of conversation telling me that I need at least some form of vegetables in my diet. Of course, he'll still have to finish the tomatoes for me.

I don't like the cold and my nose gets red and my lips go pale and the boy of my dreams will offer me his jacket and even after me telling him no, thanks I don't need one, he'll still get his jacket off him and put it over me. Even with the blistering wind and cold air, he'll rather shiver than to see me do the same.  I'll be stubborn and say I don't need a jacket in the first place but the boy of my dreams will be equally stubborn to take his jacket off even when I tell him I don't need it.

I sleep really late on most days and the boy of my dreams will call me at 12 am and talk to me til the wee hours of morning. I'll ask him of his day and he'll ask how mine went. We'll have mindless conversations one second and I'll laugh to his weird sense of humour and he'll laugh to my stories and the next minute, we find ourselves in deep conversation about politics. We won't agree on everything and we'll exchange views but neither of us is looking to win. We just appreciate the contrast in opinions and ultimately, each other. His voice will get sleepier and his eyelids will grow heavy. He thinks he can wait it out while I still talk animatedly, unfazed with how late it already is. He refuses sleep. Why? "Because it's you, babe"

I have plenty of guy friends. Instead of being insecure about their company and how close my friends and I are, the boy of my dreams will tell me to have a good time and that he'll call me after. And as much as I love my guy friends, you can bet all I'll be thinking about is how I get to call him after. And this would be the exact reason, why he won't have anything to worry about.

No matter how busy we get, he'll find the time for me. He'll know his priorities and I'll know mine. With university and work and our own social life, we'll make sure to end the day in bed on the phone with each other. Even if it's only for 5 minutes. "Miss you" was all we will need to hear. "Miss you" won't even suffice how much we really miss each other but we'll make do.

As much as I like to have someone agree with what I say, there's always something about someone with a different perspective on a subject. You have a gut feeling you'll argue and debate about this something for as long as you are together. But it's ok. When we fight, the boy of my dreams will always want to say his part and where he's coming from instead of always agreeing and giving me the satisfaction of winning the argument. He will know that I won't want to win just because I'm a girl; I will want to win because I'm right. He knows that. He listens.

I'm a petite girl, fun-sized some would say. The boy of my dreams rests his arms around my shoulders whenever we walk side by side. The marriage of our scents concoct the familiar feeling of warmth and comfort. He will know I like forehead kisses so sometimes, he'll pull me in with the force of his arms on my shoulders and give me a quick kiss on my head. He'll do it so casually as if it's nothing to him. It's everything to me.

I love flowers but I don't like roses. The boy of my dreams would know this and he'll go buy me a bouquet of flowers we both won't even know the names of. And knowing I don't like soft toys, he won't attach the bouquet with a teddy bear or any of the sort. There wouldn't even be any fancy plastic wrap around it with a huge bow. He knows I won't like the fuss. It's just the flowers, all different and all beautiful, hugged cosily between baby's breath. And all of this on February 15th because Valentine's Day is beyond him. And all I'll know is that he's beyond me. So beyond me.

I'm the most impatient person I know. Easily frustrated if I don't understand something. I give up too often and too quickly. The boy of my dreams will be the type of person who I won't be scared or embarrassed to ask about anything. Even if it was for the 19th time. He'll teach me again and again. He'll make sure I understand. I'll say yes, obviously, even when I don't. He'll know this. He'll go on to teach me for the 20th time, without a sigh or without the tiniest hint of frustration in his voice. Unlike me, he won't give up. Even when I've given up with myself.

The boy of my dreams would understand family is priority. We'll spend hours talking about our family and of our little habits at home. He'll go to great lengths to take care of his parents and his siblings. More than anything, he will understand family time comes first. He'll make the effort to try and know my family and before bringing me out anywhere, he'll come into the house to salam my parents and ask how they are. He'll borak for a bit with my mum and dad while he waits for me to get ready (this is very very likely). It'll take me a long time to come downstairs because I always find myself listening in to their conversation and forgetting for a second that he's mine. Between fumbling for my earrings and remembering to bring my phone, I'm late because I'm busy counting my blessings that the boy downstairs, deep in conversation about golf with Papa and laughing with Mama, is really mine.

He knows that I love my own private space. He'll give me that. He'll know when to call and when to let me breathe on my own. We won't let ourselves be too consumed with one another that we forget the outside world and our family and friends. We both will have our alone time but we always know when to come back to each other.

The boy of my dreams will make my heart so full, it'll scare me. How is this boy able to make my days and nights so much better, I won't understand. There's something about him that makes me want to do anything and everything within my capabilities with this boy. He'll travel with me and he'll travel for me. I will be able to envision my whole future with him and it's what keeps me up at night. All I can think about is how I now finally can see the person I'll grow old with. He'll fill all my days with the best littlest surprises like bringing me those lemon cupcakes from Wondermilk or driving me all the way to Tanjung Malim for some good seafood dinner. We'll watch The Notebook and I'll tell him why Noah is the best and most romantic guy in the fictional world. He'll nod and try to suppress a laugh seeing my ugly sobs and crying. But he'll go out of his way everyday to show that I was wrong and that he's the best and most romantic guy in the real world.

And I'll finally see why it never worked with anyone before him. For me, he'll be the best thing I've come to known and the one I've been waiting for. He'll tell me that when we went out on our first date, he knew that he'll spend the rest of his life with me. He knew right from the get go, that I will be his wife and his life companion. He insists that in this relationship, he counts himself as the lucky one. He will understand that falling in love doesn't happen all at once; it takes bit by bit to unravel someone and to know them. You can live with someone for 50 years and still discover new things about one another. He'll be more than willing to be there with me right up til the very end and he'll prove it to me every day we're together. We'll fight and we'll go through rough patches, of course (because, hello, it's me). I'll complain about him to my friends but I'll also tell them that I miss him and I count the ways he makes me happy. We recognise that we're both each other's 'home'. 'Home' is the person or place you always want to return to, and he's it for me.

I will look at this boy and see not just a person, but my future. He is what I've been waiting for and all the love songs and romantic fiction finally makes sense to me. I'll love him wholly, all the good and the bad. I never understood how people could get butterflies in their stomach or how the heart can skip a beat but I'll finally get it when I see him walk towards me, smiling. He'll be another person I add to my prayers for God to take care of and to bless him always. How is this happening, I'll ask time and time again, quietly of course, I'll mutter it under my breath.

He'll be everything I want and need and more.

I'll fall in love so hard, I won't even know what hit me.

1 comment:

  1. Well, I'll pray that you do find this boy of your dreams and may you live happily ever after