Friday, January 2, 2015

My 2014

My 2014 brought me to places I didn’t think I’d travel if you asked me 5 years ago. I went to the South of France with the most unexpectedly amazing company of friends (all 11 of them) I could possibly ask for. We climbed great heights to see the most spectacular view in the evenings where I don’t think I could possibly accurately describe to you the beauty that engulfed Nice, Monaco and Cannes. And then in the summer, my sister and I went on our own little adventure to Barcelona and Paris where we traveled the two cities in absolute awe of the architecture, of the history, of the food, of the people, of the new experiences, of the new culture. We explored the city, with ice-cream and fruit juices in hand, fumbling with the map and cameras. 2014 was also the year when I finally went to the City of Love, Paris. It’s always been a girly dream of mine to set foot in this fashion capital so when I finally did, I was in love. We were on a train and after coming out of a long tunnel, I saw to my left the amazing Eiffel Tower. I don’t think I’ve ever been awe-struck over a landmark building but there I was, almost moved to tears when I saw the Eiffel Tower in all its Parisian glory. And just last 2 weeks, Marissa and I went to Amsterdam and Berlin which was brilliant because I’ve always wanted to go to those two places so it was the cherry on top of my favourite cake that I got to do that with my best friend. Taking history as a subject for A-Levels taught me a lot on European history during the Cold War so going to these two places was really something else, it sent chills down my spine and there were moments where I was just in absolute awe because I was actually at the place where it all happened and instead of just reading it off my textbook and watching documentaries, I was actually there. It was a brilliant experience and I would go again and again. 

My 2014 gave me great live music. Started the year with my first concert gig in London - Phoenix. Only 3 rows from the front, Sofia and I were constantly singing over everyone else, our hands linked and I didn’t think I could enjoy music as much as I did when Thomas Mars entertained us with all our favourite songs. Then Beyoncé. I mean. Hello. Beyoncé. I went with my favourite Beyoncé friends/fans which made the whole thing even better. 2014 saw me waiting in line for ridiculously long hours sitting and then standing. I still honestly cannot believe that I actually got to watch the one and only Queen Bey perform live right in front of me. And then in June, I went to Manchester for One Direction with Sofia where we waited in line just as long and screamed our hearts and lungs for Harry, Niall, Louis, Liam, Zayn and it made up my whole childhood for not having a favourite boyband. Got a last-minute ticket to watch Ed Sheeran in October and I can tell you genuinely that this might have been my favourite concert because I was jivin’ and singin’ throughout and so was everyone else in the arena. That man has talent beyond his age and lifetime and I was the happiest girl when I got to see one of my favourite ever songs to ever exist (‘Thinking Out Loud’) performed live by one of my favourite singer-songwriters to ever exist.

My 2014 saw a new independent me. I’ve always been thankful my parents brought me up in a household where we were highly encouraged to do things on our own accord and on our own consequences. But this year was when it really took place. I’ll be the first to say that I’m incredibly spoilt at home so living abroad and starting the year on foreign land for the first time ever forced me to do things on my own. Doing my own laundry, cooking my own meals, doing my own grocery shopping, paying my own electricity bills, handling my own finances, traveling alone and making plans on my own, it was a lot but I managed to do it all pretty okay I guess. 

My 2014 enabled me to realise that friendships are going to come and go and that it’s okay to fall out of one just as how you would with love. I found that I was going to be completely okay without some people in my life. Before, I’ve always thought the more friends the better. But I’ve only just come to the realisation that it has always been and will always be, quality over quantity. There’s absolutely nothing wrong in falling out of a friendship with someone, although at first there might be hurt and frustration but there is an incredible form of liberation to rid yourself of bad vibes and negativity. I have a group of friends who I just know will be around for the longest eternity and I treasure them tremendously so I’m good. 

My 2014 showed me that no matter how much you travel and how far you go, there is nothing quite like being in the comforts of your own home. No matter how small my bedroom is, no matter how hot KL is and no matter how frustrating the people are like at home, there is nothing quite like Kuala Lumpur. I truly am incredibly happy to be in the UK for my studies and I love everything this place has to offer me but Malaysia has my heart. When I was back for the summer, I ate a lot, I went out a lot, I took in everything it had to offer at the time and and I took it all in with a lot of gratitude. Gratitude for being born and bred as a Malaysian.

My 2014 saw a new level of maturity. Turning 21 this year probably made me realise that I’m an adult now and I have to be responsible of my own actions and I have to deal with the consequences that followed. Personally, I feel that I’ve grown to be more matured in my thinking, in my actions, in my relationships, my role as a sister, as a friend and as a daughter. I’m still pretty carefree and I do go ‘YOLO’ sometimes and I still am a ’21 year old’, it’s just that I feel I’ve become more accustomed to being an adult than anything else. To be able to express my feelings and being more comfortable to write sensitive things on this blog also proved that I’ve grown quite a bit from my old self. 

My 2014 taught me a lot of life lessons. Not just through personal experience but through people around me. It taught me that friends give you utmost strength when you need them and that no matter what happens, they are there for you and with you and they can and will move mountains for you. My small little shoutout to my friends (they should know who they are by now) for being the people I confided in when things got a little tough for me emotionally and who were the ones who got me going again. 2014 taught me that no matter how much you pride yourself on being strong, to never deny the powers of what a heartbreak can bring you. It taught me that no matter how much I pride on being independent that I should not belittle the power of being around good company. It also taught me that people will walk out of your life as easily as they walked in. I questioned this all the time but I concluded that if it was good, it would’ve stayed. It was never you so don’t put the blame on yourself. This year taught me the power of an apology and of forgiveness. 2014 saw me in a rut I wasn’t familiar with at all. I was stuck and I didn’t know what to do and I portrayed myself as being put together but really, I was just stuck and it was all so painfully foreign to me. I don’t know if I’m out of it yet completely but what I do know is that I’m trying my best to do okay. 

Most importantly, it taught me that when you can, love. Love recklessly and love indefinitely. Love with all you have and love with all your heart. Love your past and love your present. Have so much love in you that it radiates from your body and so much so that people can’t help but love you back. Being hurt is inevitable but that shouldn’t deter you from loving. Love and care for your friends, for your family, for your siblings (hug and kiss them when you can), for your significant other, for your ‘almost’ and for your ‘definite’. 

And although it’s honourable to love and care about the people around you, it is so important to know that you are your own number one. I think more than anything else, I realised this year that it’s okay to take time out from everything and everyone and put yourself as your own priority. I’ve always taken other people’s feelings into great consideration and I always put them before mine and although seeing other people happy made me happy, I realised that seeing myself happy was even more fulfilling. So fittingly, when you are broken, you do that first. Take time out for yourself first. It doesn’t matter what people think or what people say, you are your own number one priority. It took a lot of people to tell me to cut myself some slack before I finally did. It took a lot of late night texting with friends and long Whatsapp paragraphs of good vibes to tell me that I should take care of me first. 

So that’s what I’m going to do. I’m going to live by my own advice and I’m going to love all I can and care with all I have and I’m going to put myself first because it’s about time I did.

May 2015 bring us all that we want and more and may it shine brighter on us and let this year see us laugh more and love more. To many more great years.



  1. A few things of what you wrote is also applicable to me. Very good one, proud of you and your spirit and I trust that you'll do just great in life darling. *hugs and kisses* see you soon!

  2. Thank you so much, darling! Means the world :) Hope you're doing great! Hope to see you soon and give you a nice big happy new year hug! xxx