It's completely normal to feel down in the dumps and feeling like you're in a rut.
There will be days where you don't feel like doing anything and there will be nights where you just can't sleep because you're thinking about way too many things for way too long.
There's no cure, really. There's no real concrete solution to stop the way we're feeling. We want it to stop, obviously but there's nothing we can do.
Feelings are feelings; they're inevitable.
"Why must this happen to me?"
There must be a reason. You just have to know that everything happens for a reason. People come into your life for a reason so it's just as well that they leave for a reason too.
It hurts. Really really hurt. The kind of hurt that you didn't think you'd experience. The kind of hurt that you'd think you'd get used to after some time.
Truth is, you don't.
You won't get used to it. No matter how much you build a fort for yourself. No matter how much you put your guard up. No matter how much you think you're okay.
You bring yourself to that place in your mind and in your heart, and you're back to square one before you even know it.
And then the tears well up.
"It'll pass" you say to yourself. Almost like a mantra. Like a broken record.
But it hasn't and you fear that it won't for a long time.
The only form of comfort is knowing that this is a phase. You have to know it's a phase. It has to be a phase. This can't go on forever.
"You have to have faith that you'll get over it." - this is what I tell my friends all the time whenever they cry to me or tell me things that have upset them or made them sad.
But it's way easier said than done.
You don't just get over things just like that. Especially not when you've invested in your feelings and time and effort for something and for someone.
It's going to take time, so all I can really say is to you, my friend, is to endure it and hold it out for as long as you can. It's going to be a tough one and you're going to still text me late night asking what to do and pour your heart out to me and you'll ask for my advice and I can tell you everything you want to hear but ultimately, it is up to you.
You have to move on at your own pace. So if it's going to take another 2 weeks or another 2 years, let it be. The problem is when you rush into it. When you are so quick to tell yourself to get up and get out of this rut. You're forcing yourself to be good and do good. It's ego. Your ego is telling you you're better than this and you should quit feeling so low. But shut that ego up and listen to yourself. You're hurt. You're sad. Do that first instead of being coerced into being something and someone you're not at that specific moment. Take it one by one. Don't just snap yourself out of it. You can't. It's difficult.
It's going to hurt. You're going to be sad. You're going to immerse yourself in a pit of self-pity. You're going to drown yourself in a pool of "Why?"'s. You're going to cry when you think too much into it. You're going to be lonely. You're going to feel empty.
And that's okay.
You just have to have faith that there will be a day when you wake up one day and you realise that you're better. You're better and you're finally okay.
That day will come. You just have to believe it will. So I'm not going to tell you to cheer up now and to be okay now.
I'm going to tell you to take your time.
Take your time to be okay, you will get there soon enough.