Been writing and editing my personal statement and still be way over the character limit (... like 500 more than I'm supposed to be writing!). I don't know what and where to cut, everything seems so important and like, what if I potong benda yang universities would want? Doesn't help that the college WiFi is as slow as balls. Can't even e-mail it to Ms Sabiha.
Have decided to change my course from law to business and economics. Because in all honesty, never did have the passion to read law as an undergraduate. And didn't want to waste my parents money doing something I wasn't interested in and waste 4 years of my life doing something because it was 'the way to go'. Business and economics, I'm more keen with. Because it's something I can relate too more compared to law.
Some people grew up wanting to be a doctor (never understood how people would want to voluntarily spend millions to study medicine and spend basically their whole life cutting up people and not to mention, endure the EXTREMELY tough road towards being a doctor i.e; competing for spots in med school, and from watching Grey's Anatomy going through odd hours for on calls and whatnot) and some to be a lawyer. It's not something I leaned towards since I was young. It was something more of
"A-Levels? Hmm... don't want to touch the science subjects so I guess I'll do something more social science-y. Maybe law? Ok fine, law je lah"
which has been bothering me since I confirmed it with my teacher and I convinced myself it would be my life and blood to do law. Wei dahlah kena buat LNAT. No thanks.
So I've gravitated towards business and economics because I feel like I'm more okay in those subjects as opposed to law... tapi sayang ah sebab dah buat personal statement for law. BACK TO SQUARE ONE.
If money wasn't an issue, and if I was born elsewhere where the fashion industry was more prominent, I would have pursued a degree in fashion retailing/marketing or anywhere down that road. I'd probably wake up more eager for classes and I'd look forward to my lectures and whatever there was to be taught. But alas, it's not a perfect world and not everybody gets what they want.
I grew up being the typical girly wirly girls who loved going out shopping with Mama and played 'masak-masak'. So my inability to play sports rooted from when I was a kid. Didn't want to get dirty.
I even had my mum draw the outline to my dresses and I'd colour them in with added frills and flowers or whatnots. I even remember I made a powerpoint presentation on outfits that I liked (photos from the Internet and yes, I was clearly the more technological literate compared to my siblings during that time!) and I'd give a rating for each and every one that I liked. Embarrassing but guess that'd showed you how much I was interested when I was young. I may not dress like your typical Tumblr girl, donned in her best 'vintage' (hate this word) finds.
And for the record, I will never ever ever ever ever use the phrase "passion for fashion" because it's overrated and it just screams Barbie.
As I write my personal statement on business and economics, I have that strand of hope that the fantasy world of my daily routine consisting of going to work in black Louboutin pumps and meetings with fashion's biggest maven and desk filled with invitations to shows and papers to sign approval for, would eventually come true.
A girl can dream.